Hire Jim Essian

At the Mathematical Elimination Party this Saturday, one of my friends told me she was rooting for the Cardinals to win the World Series. "Why the hell would you do that?" I asked. "Because you have to root for the NL Central when your team gets eliminated," she replied. "Why the hell would I do that?" I ... Read More

Back in the glory days of video game baseball (read: MVP 2005), Jose Vidro was a favorite target of mine when trying to upgrade my Cub franchise. At the time, the pudgy, switch-hitting second baseman was under-appreciated by a virtual Omar Minaya, and could be had at cents on the dollar. Perhaps Vidro was the apple of my ... Read More

You know that old adage, "If you can't laugh at yourself, then you suck"? I have to give credit to Carrie for not sucking today. (HT: James) Good one, Carrie. We're one step closing to you fisking one of the Muskboxes, and then I'll have to fisk that, and we'll just keep passing the same article ... Read More

The Cubs have apparently signed (GUESS WHO?) Milton Bradley to a three-year, $30M deal with the Cubs. I guess you could say the Cubs really sank the Nationals' BATTLESHIP, after nearly getting caught up in a bidding CROSSFIRE for Bradley's services. The Cubs' STRATEGO for 2009 is to have Bradley play right field. GO TO THE HEAD ... Read More

This week's Muskbag is chock full of personal questions, propositions, and SAM FULD. Hurray! Why does Lou Piniella keep using Bob Howry in close situations? Howry has been bad all year. He currently has a 5.54 ERA and a 1.42 WHIP, and he's already given up more home runs than in any other season. -- Red W., New York, N.Y. And now ... Read More

Nah, just kidding. It's dumb again. That's 1,023 horrible questions in a row, if you're keeping track. Of course, if you are, you're dumber than a Muskbag. I only do it because it's my job. My free job. How much longer is manager Lou Piniella willing to give Fukudome to get his offense going before he ... Read More

With Dusty Baker in town with his old familiar dumbassery and excuse-making in tow, it's easy to think he is the stupidest manager in the National League Central, and he very well may be. But Ned Yost is sure making it interesting, isn't he? Yost's handling of CC Sabathia in Sabathia's nine starts since he came over to ... Read More

This may have already been discussed in the Shoutbox while I was recovering from the rooftop game, but I'm pretty sure not one, but two Sons of Jim Essian got questions into this week's Muskbag. Meaning it's the greatest Muskbag ever. Shall we? Could you please enlighten me as to what a suspended game is? I thought the Cubs ... Read More

Bill Ladson wrote a story yesterday about how Corey Patterson would fill a lot of holes for the Washington Nationals. People out there are seriously still under the impression that Patterson is a decent player? Really? Are they the same people who kept Michael Tucker in the league for all those years? Anyhow, the article is ... Read More