Hire Jim Essian

I offer you this submission. Never has there been a more hate-worthy Cub shortstop than Ryan Theriot. Not Jeff Blauser. Not Neifi Perez. Not Alex Gonzalez. Not Ronny Cedeno. All of those guys were terrible, but they either had some redeeming moments (Gonzalez), were hated solely because of misuse (Perez), were harmless simpletons (Cedeno), ... Read More

I need to get a quick confession off my chest right up front here. When I was a kid, I loved Mark McGwire. I don't know if it was because he was a first baseman like me, because his team had actually won a World Series in my lifetime, or because I felt bad that he was a ... Read More

Ponder this. It's the last BROWSing of the offseason. Whoa. It seems like only yesterday we were fighting over who would be starting at second base when the season starts and now- Well, I guess we're still sort of arguing about that. But that's neither here nor there. Speaking of which, tips go here, ... Read More

Well, it looks like Jim Hendry FINALLY made a good choice during his mostly-terrible tenure as the Cub GM. 2011 is going to be my OUR year. It's about to get REAL. Your BROWSing tips cause the corners of my mouth to turn up in an expression that's not quite a grimace, yet is far too horrifying ... Read More

I kid you not. The new Muskbox image was barely altered. Yes, there was a giant amount of white space where the HJE logo now sits. I like to imagine when Carrie saw it, she let out an exasperated sigh. Anyhow, I love it, I have adopted it, and I am embracing it. I completely ... Read More

Can you believe it's been only three years since Tony LaRussa was arrested for having no idea how many letters were in the English alphabet, nor which order in which they are arranged? It feels like so much has happened since then. Except for the Cubs winning a postseason game. Or Mark McGwire's skin clearing up. ... Read More

Ah, spring in Chicago. The air is crisp, the birds are chirping, there is love horny desperation in the air. I hope you enjoyed your week of nice weather while you were sitting at your desks, Chicagoans. It's going to be a chilly weekend. Be sure to snuggle up with your favorite porn. Roundup tips ... Read More

Because it has sort of become an annual tradition, and because it annoys Mike D. more than Ron Santo reading a national ad for bicycle safety, I'm going to go ahead and give you a pseudo-review of the latest in video game baseballery. Only this year I have finally had the brains to completely abandon the awful, awful 2K ... Read More

As you know, I love being right at the absolute forefront of all your base are belong to us internet memes, so when I saw that Google mining became popular about six months ago, I jumped right on that trend! Some of the things you can learn about people from their Google habits should not be learned. And ... Read More

I was a little worried about Carrie after last week's Muskbox. After all her talk about Milton Bradley, I assumed he had come to life and captured her, especially when we didn't see her at Kitty O'Shea's Friday night. But, sure enough, the Muskbox is too dumb to even realize it is mortal. Who will be the Cubs leadoff ... Read More