Hire Jim Essian

Steve Rosenbloom must be amazing at covering poker, because he's comically bad at covering every other "sport." The man who doesn't own a collared shirt is at it again, implying that the Theo Epstein hire is "so Cub" for all the wrong reasons! (HT: Jim) That is "so Rosenbloom." Rosey gets fisked gently below. This seems like the perfect ... Read More

After a long series of fate-deciding coin flips, Tom Ricketts has decided to make Wunderkind Theo Epstein the next general manager of the Chicago Cubs. I feel like I should be more excited than I am, but I'm mostly just filled with dread for several reasons. Theo's going to show up, look around, and be all, "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ... Read More

I haven't had the opportunity to watch Catching Hell, the horrible documentary on Steve Bartman. I feel obligated to do so, despite the fact that I've seen the infamous play more times than I've seen The Big Lebowski. Which is to say, a lot of times. Bartman has been through a lot, which is why it was ... Read More

The 2011 season ground to a merciful halt yesterday. In a beautiful display of symmetry, it ended much the same way it started, with Ryan Dempster walking everyone in the park, serving up a grand slam, and losing to a shitty team. In case you missed the past six months of baseball, the Cubs didn't make the playoffs ... Read More

Another week brings the dawn of another Muskbox. All things are relevant to the Muskbox, even those things that go unanswered. Which is most things. But you have to keep TRYING, you know? Most of what I have been reading says the Cubs will not pick up Aramis Ramirez's club option and instead pay him the $2 million ... Read More

Before we dive knuckles-first into this week's Muskbox, it's my duty to point out that tickets to tonight's compelling Cubs-Reds matchup are currently selling for ONE DOLLAR AND FORTY-EIGHT CENTS on StubHub. (HT: Ned Ryerson) If you've been waiting to see Rodrigo Lopez pitch, NOW IS YOUR CHANCE. SIDE NOTE: Anyone need two tickets for tonight's game? Face ... Read More

Well, it's been a busy day! There was the news of Jim Hendry being fired a month ago, and there was a walkoff win for the Chicago Cubs against their biggest opponent... THEIR OWN SELF-CONFIDENCE. It's a good bet that to win the Sporadic Comment of the Week competition, you should just agree with everything Kermit says, which is exactly what ... Read More

First of all, I'm taking over this Roundup, seeing as how I'm sick of Uncle Mike. And the whole goddamn franchise, for that matter. But that same franchise actually did something proactive today. Jim Hendry is finally out as Cubs GM. After the trade deadline. And the draft. This ownership is so fucking stupid. ... Read More

I'm idiotically and unfortunately involved in a Cubs ticket package with several other people. Even worse, most of the games I've selected haven't yet taken place. Since the tickets are unsellable, I can basically only give the tickets away or go to the games. The same option was left with Pre, one of the other members of ... Read More

I'm going to get around to posting the Photoshops from the other day. I'm also going to get around to the next entry on the T79. But occasionally there comes along an article so stupid, that it must immediately be addressed. Five times out of ten, that article is written by Phil Rogers. But the other ... Read More