Hire Jim Essian

As you're all aware by now, on Sunday night Bobby Valentine went on a 7-minute tirade about what a lazy player Starlin Castro is when compared to Darwin Barney. Yes, it looked terrible when Castro was facing the third-base line as Jeff Samardzija delivered a pitch. But then Bobby went off the deep end for a lot of ... Read More

So, I was up in Wisconsin killing time, animals, and brain cells when I heard the news that Carlos Zambrano had retired. Or not retired. Or was just sick of the Cubs. Or giving up home runs. Now, the Cubs have put Zambrano on the disqualified list, and the Cub with the longest uninterrupted tenure on ... Read More

There are some members of the Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time who were still relatively successful players against MLB teams that WEREN'T the Cubs. The 37th biggest Cub Killer, Mike Fitzgerald, is not one of those guys. No, Fitzgerald was only a .235/.321/.346 hitter throughout the course of his ten-year career, which he spent mostly with ... Read More

The Muskbox is back with a robustness that was lacking last week. It's also unreasonably back on a Thursday. I politely asked if Carrie would reconsider, but she hasn't gotten back to me yet. Oh, well. Will this week's Muskbox answer the question of why Jim Hendry inexplicably declared Jeff Baker untouchable? Will it declare Carlos Marmol ... Read More

I'm going to get around to posting the Photoshops from the other day. I'm also going to get around to the next entry on the T79. But occasionally there comes along an article so stupid, that it must immediately be addressed. Five times out of ten, that article is written by Phil Rogers. But the other ... Read More

It's an unprecedented week for the Muskbox. For once, there are more answers than questions. More tit than tat. More John Grabow jokes than zero. And, most importantly, injury reports! It's everything you dreamed the Muskbox could be before you woke up in a cold sweat, terrified that you're dreaming about the Muskbox. It's the culmination ... Read More

I've been meaning to write about Mike Quade for some time now. I'm not questioning whether or not Mike Quade will or will not be a good manager. But he's been driving me nuts so far. In the first 39 games of the 2011 season, Quade has penciled in 32 different lineups. Starlin Castro, the Cubs' ... Read More

So it was prophesied that in the fourth month of the 2011th year, there would be much wailing, renting of garments, and gnashing of teeth of the loss of the tiny little soul of Sam Fuld. Is there any doubt that the same people crying that Sam Fuld is no longer in Chicago would be the same people complaining ... Read More

This week's Muskbox's flight was delayed due to Matt Clement weather. Fortunately, neither rain, nor sleet, nor THUNDER SNOW can keep the Muskbox down forever. The Muskbox just keeps on a-shovelin' until it piles up past your windows. I was wondering if there was any talk of giving Sean Marshall a shot at one of the two starting rotation ... Read More

If you didn't know who Dave Niehaus was, that's because nobody really cares about anything that comes out of Seattle. But Niehaus was a Mariner staple, and one of the better broadcasters in the game. He died, too young, at the age of 75 this week. Rest in peace, Dave. Sometimes, when the darkness comes, I ... Read More