Hire Jim Essian

Kevin Gregg is officially the least-popular man in Chicago. Not even Lou Piniella can defend him after another dick-kicking blown save in the ninth inning of last night's Padres game. According to Lou, Gregg is no longer the closer. I sure hope Lou means it this time. Lou has a penchant for saying he's going to ... Read More

Oh, hey. Ted Lilly is back. I almost forgot about him. The left-hander's return means that one of his teammates is DL-bound. Everyone hopes it will be Aaron Miles, but I predict that Aramis Ramirez's face will melt off. Lilly will start the first game of a West Coast road trip consisting of three games ... Read More

Maybe I'm just annoyed with how the weekend series has gone so far. Maybe it's because it seems like Todd Helton hits .800 against the Cubs. Maybe it's because such piles of shit as Neifi Perez, Aaron Miles, Shawn Estes, and Dusty Baker have associations with NL West teams. Maybe it's because of the outcome of the ... Read More

You can just imagine my jubilation when I read the title to this week's Muskbox. "How Clutch is Theriot?" the Muskbox inquired. "THIS MANY!" Theriot responded, holding up three fingers on his right hand and one finger on his left hand. And that's how this Muskbox was born. I know Ryan Theriot has had some clutch hits recently, ... Read More

I'm going to be honest here. Ryan Klesko didn't particularly kill the Cubs any more than he did any other team. He didn't rise to the occasion against Cub pitching. He didn't perform well in Wrigley Field. In fact, Klesko was actually worse against the Cubs than his career averages suggest he should have been. ... Read More

This week's Muskbox answers those questions you've been dying to ask all offseason. Such as who is going to take over the Cubs' blogging duties now that THE PULSE is in Cleveland. Seriously. That's one of the best questions that was asked. Just watch: How closely is the performance of the players participating in the World Baseball ... Read More

I don't know what it is, but I have absolutely no interest in Spring Training this season. Maybe it's the fact that there are basically only two position "battles" going on this spring, one of which includes two guys who couldn't get into a rated R movie if they stood on each other's shoulders and wore a trenchcoat and ... Read More

Well, I guess the big news around here is that someone else is going to be signing my paychecks really soon. And that someone is J. Joe Ricketts. The team is supposedly going to be sold for $900M. That's $9M for each year this team hasn't won a World Series, if you're into doing "math." Rest ... Read More

Ha ha ha ha ha! Get it? Because the Cubs just signed Aaron Miles? What does this mean? Well, I'm guessing The Pulse is getting shipped out of town, meaning that Jake Peavy trade isn't as dead as Kevin Towers was pretending it was. If Jim Hendry manages to trade Jason Marquis, land Peavy, and sign Milton ... Read More

Hello, everyone. This is guest blogger Aldolf, Founder and Editor-in-Chief of one of the most critically-acclaimed Cubs blogs on the internet. If you're wondering why I'm doing the Roundup this week, click here. It's Friday once again, my flock. And you know what that means? It means I'm going to spend the night unhappy and ... Read More