Hire Jim Essian

When we last left The Muskbox, she was busy scoffing at the mere SUGGESTION of a Jumbo-Tron and weighing the Cubs' options for manager. A lot has happened since those simple days nearly a month ago. The Cubs hired Dale Sveum, Greg Maddux took his talents south, and you ate a bunch of turkey, drank some cognac, and punched your uncle. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN THANKSGIVING EVERY YEAR? Perhaps Greg's departure to Texas caused something in Carrie to snap, because in this week's Muskbox, she gets weirdly southern. READ ON, Y'ALL!

Let it never again be said that the Muskbox doesn't hold the Cubs accountable. That it's just a bunch of corporate answers to silly questions from simpletons who will purchase tickets no matter how stupid the package, and no matter how bad the team. Why, just this week in the Muskbox, Rudolpho Jaramillo is taken to task by ... Read More

If you thought that this week's Muskbox would ask whether or not Greg Maddux will be the next Cubs pitching coach, say another sooth, give yourself a gold star, and prepare for your weekly reminder of why you're embarrassed to be a Cubs fan. And, if you're NOT so embarrassed, thank you for your contributions to the Muskbox this week. Now that ... Read More

As I'm sure you already know (and as Ned Ryerson and Pre reminded me), Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild picked up HIS contract option and will return for the 2011 season. I'm glad Rothschild is going to be back. It's pretty clear now that the idiotic way that the Cubs' pitching staff was handled in the early 2000s ... Read More

The Muskbox has been a real moving target over the last few weeks. Maybe the grind of the season is too much to keep on a regular schedule. Maybe the Chicago Public Library is redoing the Dewey Decimal System. Maybe the spring "Schoolmarm's Charms" catalog came out. I don't know. But I do know that ... Read More

I kid you not. The new Muskbox image was barely altered. Yes, there was a giant amount of white space where the HJE logo now sits. I like to imagine when Carrie saw it, she let out an exasperated sigh. Anyhow, I love it, I have adopted it, and I am embracing it. I completely ... Read More

My brain is still reeling over yesterday's decision to send Carlos Zambrano to the bullpen. Whether you love Zambrano (like Dolan) or don't (like me), you'd be a total fucking idiot to like this idea. In the Zambrano post, paintersix (sorry to pick on you) said, "I think it's a terrible idea but .....if it works were all ... Read More

As promised, last night Lou Piniella shuffled his lineup against left-handed pitcher Jonathon Niese. Marlon Byrd led off, and scrappy shortstop Ryan Theriot batted eighth. If the Cubs are going to continue to insist that Theriot is a Major League Baseball player, the eighth spot is where he belongs. Except on days when Carlos Zambrano is pitching. ... Read More

I didn't get around to the Muskbox last week because of the emotional and mental toll from ripping Milton Bradley. I could- nay, should allow myself a break from the Muskbox madness. But that wouldn't be fair to you. Instead, you get a double shot of Muskbox with a chaser of failure. And I die on ... Read More

Has any player ever gotten more mileage out of a single catch than Sam Fuld has? I've heard Cubs fans speak less respectfully of Wilie Mays' catch. Sam Fuld strives to be David Eckstein, only in a less-useful position. However, since Jim Hendry decided to spend $34M on an outfield of platoon players, each week we have ... Read More