Hire Jim Essian

It looks like Al Yellon isn't the only one baffled by everything that has to do with the corporate world. "THESE CUBICLES ARE MAZES OF MYSTERY AND INTRIGUE!!!" Some other dope in this week's Muskbox can't fathom how there can be a president AND a general manager. IT'S AS THOUGH THEY ARE TRYING TO DIVIDE THE LABOR ... Read More

I hope you idiots didn't forget that today is National Doughnut Day, so make sure you thank those great men and women who fought in the Doughnut Wars. I was a bit hungover under the weather earlier, so I apologize for the late Roundup. I sure hope you didn't get any work done this morning, or anything. Geovany Soto ... Read More

Every day is "Pick on Phil Rogers" Day at HJE, so this will be no exception. As you know, in early February Phildo predicted the Houston Astros were planning a "sneak attack" on the Cubs. This is, of course, inordinately stupid. But after the Cubs beat the Astros last night to win their first opening series since ... Read More

I haven't watched much of the World Baseball Classic, but I did watch most of the game last night between the United States and Japan. Why exactly was Davey Johnson responsible for bringing pride back to United States baseball? Team USA played like crap for most of the game, but Johnson certainly didn't put them in a position ... Read More

Have you ever heard anyone complain about Ike more than the Astros and their fans are doing this week? Yesterday, Cecil Cooper sat down with his long-time drinking Bud(dy) Selig to voice his "frustration" that the poor, poor Astros had to play two "home" games against the Cubs up at Miller Park. This is after his team's owner, ... Read More