Hire Jim Essian

In this week's Muskbag, we are once again reminded that Cubs fans are idiots who are clueless about the rules of baseball and are obsessed with bad players. If they LOSE 97 games next year, will some of these dimwits go away? I heard that Veal was picked by the Pirates in the Rule 5 Draft. What exactly does that ... Read More

How long is the Jake Peavy hostage crisis going to trudge on? The fact that Peavy is going to be a Cub has gone from "worst-kept secret" of the Winter Meetings to "public domain." Padres GM Kevin Towers has apparently put together a four-team trade that would make Peavy to the Cubs feasible, but it involves cutting Ronny ... Read More

Shockingly, it appears that the Cubs are somehow the frontrunner in the Jake Peavy sweepstakes. If Jim Hendry pulls this trade off, he will have traded for Rich Harden and Peavy, two of the best pitchers in the game, over the course of about four months. And he will have done it with a farm system that stinks ... Read More

The only time I read Bleed Cubbie Blue is when someone on Desipio links it. For someone on Desipio to link it, the writing must be worse than normal. So when I saw a link to the hilariously stupid "Building A Cubs Champion: Introducing Your 2009 Chicago Cubs" I had to click it. I now fully understand ... Read More

Miss me, jerks? Yeah, I bet you did. Crying in your beers for the past couple weeks saying, "Uncle Lou! Uncle Lou! What did we do to deserve this quick playoff exit?" I don't have an answer for that, but if you're going to force me to say something, I'll go with masturbation. Anyhow, ... Read More

I know your thoughts have already turned toward tomorrow night's early evening's late afternoon's NLDS showdown between the Dodgers and the Cubs, but please permit me a brief rant about Bud Selig's idiocy. I believe it was Sunday when I was listening to Pat and Ron on the radio, and Pat mentioned that on Saturday an unusual play had ... Read More

If you didn't think the Cubs were in pretty good shape in the National League playoffs before, you should now. When Lou Piniella uses Kevin Hart and Bob Howry out of his bullpen, it's clear that he couldn't care less whether the Cubs win or lose a game. Yet they still managed to win, putting the Cubs into ... Read More

If the Cubs decide to follow my clever plan to sweep the Brewers at Wrigley Field this week, they will have wrapped up their second playoff berth in two years. That hasn't happened since, oh, 1907 and 1908, the only two years in which the Cubs have won the World Series. So, is it really a good time ... Read More

Seriously? Is this how it's going to be in September? I was in the midst of a party to appease J-Kerm on Saturday. When I turned off the Cubs game, they had a very comfortable 9-1 lead. Ned Ryerson on Sunday told me that the final of the game was 14-9. Honestly? Eight runs ... Read More

I guess my good friend PAUL SULLIVAN must have lost my phone number. He had a perfect opportunity to give his old pal Bad Kermit an opportunity to berate a bunch of dopey Cubs fans, and he wasted it on Ryan Theriot (be sure to check out the post-Mailbag comments; brilliant!). Fortunately, the questions are still hilariously stupid. Ryan, ... Read More