Hire Jim Essian

So, Mike Quade is off to a pretty good start as interim manager. He's won three games in a row and swept the mighty Nationals. Wow! I'm sooooooo impressed. What were the Nationals? 53-71 going into Monday night's game? And they had to face whom? Livan Hernandez? Hell, that guy was practically ... Read More

So, everyone from Richard Sandomir to Bwuce Levine is complaining about Chip Caray's awful call of the thrilling Game 163 between the Tigers and the Twins, followed up by his equally-brutal call of Game One of the ALDS. Everyone is absolutely right in their assertion that Caray is as terrible as he has ever been. On The Score ... Read More

So help me God, for my entire childhood I thought Lenny Dykstra had no teeth. The guy's mouth was blacker than a kid with braces eating Oreos. I did know one thing, though. I knew that every time "Nails" came up against the Cubs, he was going to be a huge pain in the ass for whichever ... Read More

In spring training, Ryan Dempster guaranteed that he would win the World Series. The Spanish word for "he would win" is ganaría. That's pronounced "gonorrhea," which I'm pretty sure I have after watching last night's Cubs-Dodgers game. Think I went pretty far for a joke with very little payoff? You should, because I did. And ... Read More