Hello, kids! I’m all giddy today, because I’m getting ready for our three-game sweep of the Cardinals, now that they lost THE MOST IMPORTANT PLAYER TO ANY TEAM IN MLB HISTORY. I hope you guys have picked a different Cardinals player to standing ovate this weekend. If you haven’t, may I suggest [...]
You panicky little nerds. Do you feel better now that we’re only a half game out of first place? Does it bring you joy to see us win four in a row? Are you wetting the roomy crotches of your pants after the bullpen actually managed to string together some outs? [...]
Holy God in Heaven, baseball is back. It seems like ages ago that we were getting swept out of the playoffs and wasting a 97-win season. Remember that? Remember when we were getting swept out of the playoffs? Anyhow, happy belated 200th birthday to two of my favorite bearded men, Abraham [...]
Well, Roger, we all knew you were a fucking cocksucker. You’ve been a ‘roided-up, self-centered hired gun prick for your entire career. You’ve played for the Red Sox and the Yankees, two of the most hated fucking franchises in all of baseball. And now, we find out that you’re a fucking pedophile. [...]
With baseball villain Roger Clemens digging a deeper and deeper grave for himself, one happy thought has been running through my mind. If Clemens’ is guilty of using performance-enhancing drugs, that makes Greg Maddux the greatest pitcher of the modern era.
You’ve read the stories (or you haven’t). You watched the hearing (or you didn’t). You’re hoping Clemens gets enough rope to hang himself with enough left over to tie Schilling to a railroad track. The only problem is that the guy who’s handing him the rope is only slightly more believable.
Both of [...]
After Roger Clemens’ utterly ridiculous denial of his alleged steroid abuse (It took you THAT long to come up with the exact same story Tejada came up with, Roger? Really?), I got to wondering whether Clemens has usurped Barry Bonds’ long-held position as my least favorite baseball player.
Bonds:
Was once made to look a bitch [...]
Friday, July 10, 2009
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