8

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “.500 Again?” Edition

Posted at July 10, 2009

Hello, kids! I’m all giddy today, because I’m getting ready for our three-game sweep of the Cardinals, now that they lost THE MOST IMPORTANT PLAYER TO ANY TEAM IN MLB HISTORY. I hope you guys have picked a different Cardinals player to standing ovate this weekend. If you haven’t, may I suggest Todd Wellemeyer? He [...]

Around the MLB, Cubs, Lou's Friday Roundup
21

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “How Do You Like Us NOW?” Edition

Posted at May 15, 2009

You panicky little nerds. Do you feel better now that we’re only a half game out of first place? Does it bring you joy to see us win four in a row? Are you wetting the roomy crotches of your pants after the bullpen actually managed to string together some outs? Are you ready to [...]

Around the MLB, Cubs, Lou's Friday Roundup
9

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Thank God the Offseason is Over” Edition

Posted at February 13, 2009

Holy God in Heaven, baseball is back. It seems like ages ago that we were getting swept out of the playoffs and wasting a 97-win season. Remember that? Remember when we were getting swept out of the playoffs? Anyhow, happy belated 200th birthday to two of my favorite bearded men, Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin. [...]

Cubs, Lou's Friday Roundup
13

Fucking Cocksucker of the Day: Roger Clemens

Posted at April 29, 2008

Well, Roger, we all knew you were a fucking cocksucker. You’ve been a ‘roided-up, self-centered hired gun prick for your entire career. You’ve played for the Red Sox and the Yankees, two of the most hated fucking franchises in all of baseball. And now, we find out that you’re a fucking pedophile. Even giving you [...]

Around the MLB
4

Greg, You’re the Best…Around

Posted at February 20, 2008

With baseball villain Roger Clemens digging a deeper and deeper grave for himself, one happy thought has been running through my mind. If Clemens’ is guilty of using performance-enhancing drugs, that makes Greg Maddux the greatest pitcher of the modern era.

Around the MLB, Ex-Cubs
0

Friday Night Fukudome: Roger Clemens vs. Brian McNamee

Posted at February 15, 2008

You’ve read the stories (or you haven’t). You watched the hearing (or you didn’t). You’re hoping Clemens gets enough rope to hang himself with enough left over to tie Schilling to a railroad track. The only problem is that the guy who’s handing him the rope is only slightly more believable. Both of these guys [...]

Friday Night Fukudome
0

Friday Night Fukudome: Barry Bonds vs. Roger Clemens

Posted at January 4, 2008

After Roger Clemens’ utterly ridiculous denial of his alleged steroid abuse (It took you THAT long to come up with the exact same story Tejada came up with, Roger? Really?), I got to wondering whether Clemens has usurped Barry Bonds’ long-held position as my least favorite baseball player. Bonds: Was once made to look a [...]

Friday Night Fukudome