Hire Jim Essian

I'm back from my little hiatus, and don't you for one second think the fact that the Muskbox is a week old is going to stop me from fisking it. Because it won't. Have the Cubs considered Fuld to play center field next year? Probably. But this is also a franchise who has considered the following players "able" to play ... Read More

You are in for quite a treat, loyal Muskboxers. I am pretty certain that this week's Muskbox contains the most long-winded narrative answer to ever pour from the bun-based pencil of Carrie herself. I've been reading that the Tigers are putting Curtis Granderson on the trade block. What are the chances the Cubs lure him to Chicago? -- Robert B., Chicago That ... Read More

In this week's Muskbox, we speculate on Jeff Samardzija's sexual perversions, we give Reed Johnson the Mark DeRosa treatment, we torment Ed Hartig, and we RUIN WRIGLEY FIELD! What happened to Jeff Samardzija to allow Thomas Diamond to take his spot in Mexico? Is Samardzija OK? -- Wade T., Flora, Miss. I love the fact that somewhere, someone cares enough about this franchise ... Read More

At the Mathematical Elimination Party this Saturday, one of my friends told me she was rooting for the Cardinals to win the World Series. "Why the hell would you do that?" I asked. "Because you have to root for the NL Central when your team gets eliminated," she replied. "Why the hell would I do that?" I ... Read More

Aramis is back today, along with Angel Guzman and Reed Johnson. The Cubs just got a whole hell of a lot better. They were 11-7 (holy God, it was only 18 games into the season when he went down) with Aramis, and they've gone 29-32 without him. A Cub lineup that looks like it finally figured out ... Read More

Take THAT, English language! After a three-week hiatus, the Muskbox is back! One forgets how much one truly loves the Muskbox until one goes three weeks without one. And then, when one is one question into said Muskbox, one recalls why one enjoyed the three-week respite from it. One. I've always been a Reed Johnson fan from ... Read More

You can just imagine my jubilation when I read the title to this week's Muskbox. "How Clutch is Theriot?" the Muskbox inquired. "THIS MANY!" Theriot responded, holding up three fingers on his right hand and one finger on his left hand. And that's how this Muskbox was born. I know Ryan Theriot has had some clutch hits recently, ... Read More

For some reason, the Muskbox is mercifully short this week. Maybe Care Bear had something better to do. Like train her flying monkeys to attack that bitch from Kansas. Away we go. I haven't been able to follow the Cubs' spring as much as I'd like to, being on the East Coast, but what are Koyie Hill's chances ... Read More

Before I forget, Kermit wanted me to let you all know that we've already filled two divisions of Neifiball, and are looking for eight more players to fill a third. If we fill a third, we'll add a fourth. If you're interested in playing, e-mail Kermit HERE and write "NEIFIBALL" in the header. Second, how about the ... Read More

This week's Muskbox answers those questions you've been dying to ask all offseason. Such as who is going to take over the Cubs' blogging duties now that THE PULSE is in Cleveland. Seriously. That's one of the best questions that was asked. Just watch: How closely is the performance of the players participating in the World Baseball ... Read More