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You are here : Hire Jim Essian » Tag for Randy Johnson

Ten Things I’ll Miss About the Houston Astros

Posted On 23 Nov 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Around the MLB, NL Central.
Ten Things I’ll Miss About the Houston Astros All you need to know about the MLB's new collective bargaining agreement is here. Finally, the constant interleague games that baseball fans everywhere DEMANDED will be reality. Finally, the Cubs won't be in the biggest division in baseball. Finally, Bud Selig avoided the pesky nuisance of having to occasionally host a thrilling Game 163. But that's all bookkeeping. All you need to know EMOTIONALLY is HERE. I'm pointing at your heart right now. Because the departure of the Houston Astros from the National League Central is the end of some good times. Ten of them, exactly. And here they are.

The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #24: “Sweaty” Freddie Garcia

Posted On 06 Oct 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: The Top 79.
The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #24: “Sweaty” Freddie Garcia Where were you on June 17, 2011? Did you know it was a historic date? Not only did the Cubs manage to defeat the mighty New York Yankees at Wrigley Field, but somehow DOUG DAVIS managed to defeat the New York Yankees at Wrigley Field. Oh, also, it was the first time in the history of Major ... Read More

The Muskbox is Talking All Things Carlos, Amsterdammit!

Posted On 12 Sep 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Broadcasters & Journalists, Muskbox.
The Muskbox is Talking All Things Carlos, Amsterdammit! Another week brings the dawn of another Muskbox. All things are relevant to the Muskbox, even those things that go unanswered. Which is most things. But you have to keep TRYING, you know? Most of what I have been reading says the Cubs will not pick up Aramis Ramirez's club option and instead pay him the $2 million ... Read More

The Muskbox DEMANDS Recognition for Castro

Posted On 13 Sep 2010 By Bad Kermit. Under: Cubs, Ex-Cubs, Muskbox.
The Muskbox DEMANDS Recognition for Castro The Muskbox must be in late-season crunch mode. It appears that all of your stupid questions will be answered in the order in which they are received. If you would just please form an orderly line behind the man in the mask, Carrie will field each question in turn, starting with those in this week's Muskbox. If ... Read More

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Odd Couples” Edition

Posted On 21 Nov 2008 By Sweet Uncle Lou. Under: Lou's Friday Roundup.
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Odd Couples” Edition What the hell is going on around here? Up is down. Down is up. We got that clown Dempster saying we weren't ready for the goddamn playoffs. I'm saying we were. We've got the Orioles saying that they want to be a competitive baseball team, yet they're looking at Cesar Izturis. We've got the Muskrat saying that we're ... Read More

God Damn You, Randy Johnson

Posted On 22 Jul 2008 By Bad Kermit. Under: Cubs.
God Damn You, Randy Johnson Dear Randy Johnson, God damn you. God damn you to your NASCAR God. I hope your Miller High Life ends with you alone and crying into a throw pillow upon which an embroidered Calvin is urinating on a Ford sign. Here is some advice for you, Randy Johnson. Take a fucking shower. Seriously. Get some soap, pick ... Read More
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