Hire Jim Essian

Oh, Cubs. You're so collectively dumb. The pervasive organizational stupidity of this franchise is more consistent than Mariano Rivera. As you've probably already heard, Ted Lilly had arthroscopic surgery on his shoulder, and will miss the beginning of the season. In Cubs speak, that means he'll be back just before Jeff Samardzija makes his fifteenth start. ... Read More

Happy Halloween, guys and ghouls. Ha ha ha! Seriously though, ghouls, do us all a favor and dress like sluts tomorrow. There's nothing scarier than Mark McGwire's pockmarks, so I assume you've had your fill of terror for this week. But I hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween. Thanks, as always, for ... Read More

I don't have too much interest in the World Series this year. The Phillies were just in it last year, and it feels like the Yankees are always in it, even when they aren't. But I will be tuning in to Game Two of the World Series tonight. Long time Yankee nemesis Pedro Martinez is taking the ... Read More

It's looking pretty inevitable that the Yankees are going to be the American League representative in this year's World Series. That means it would be a Phillies-Yankees matchup. Could it be any more boring than that? We just saw Philly win the World Series, and I'm sick of Derek Jeter's face. An Angels-Dodgers matchup would have ... Read More

It's been a while since Jason Schmidt was considered an elite MLB pitcher. It's also been a while since the last time Schmidt pitched against the Chicago Cubs. Coincidence? Yes. But that doesn't make Jason Schmidt any less deserving of being named the 53rd biggest Cub Killer of my time. Jason Schmidt was selected by the Atlanta ... Read More

On September 15, 1973, a 22-year-old catcher on the Philadelphia Phillies named Jim Essian stepped to the plate in the fifth inning with the Montreal Expos leading his Phillies 4-1 at Parc Jarry. Phillies starter Dick Ruthven had been battered around for 4 earned runs on 4 hits and 5 walks in his 3 1/3 innings. Ron Diorio ... Read More

If you've ever sat around and wondered how José Cruz managed to amass 2,251 hits in his career, you need to get a better hobby. Part of that total can be attributed to the fact that Cruz played parts of 19 seasons in the MLB. Oh, and also, he collected 197 of those hits by playing the Cubs ... Read More

Except for the fact that no one on the team got their foot caught in a bear trap, last night's game was pretty close to the perfect summary of the 2009 season so far, wasn't it? Not only was Rich Harden was perfect until the sixth inning, but he had looked brilliant in striking out six Phillies in his ... Read More

So help me God, for my entire childhood I thought Lenny Dykstra had no teeth. The guy's mouth was blacker than a kid with braces eating Oreos. I did know one thing, though. I knew that every time "Nails" came up against the Cubs, he was going to be a huge pain in the ass for whichever ... Read More

If you're Oleg, Mike D., flannj, TDubbs, or anyone else who gets their ANGER angered up by reading about video games, stop right now. For the rest of you normies, the MLB 2K9 demo was released in the wee hours of this morning for the Xbox 360. Rumor has it that PS3 owners will get the demo on ... Read More