Hire Jim Essian

Tonight, the Cubs are holding their inaugural Social Media Night beginning at 5:45 tonight at the Captain Morgan Club at Wrigley Field. Because it's called a SOCIAL Media Night, our good friends PAUL SULLIVAN and BRUCE MILES were not invited to participate. So, they decided to host Anti-Social Media Night just outside of the Captain Morgan Club. There are few Cubs bloggers as anti-social as I am, so I will be joining them to tweet bitter things about the Cubs' "cool" clique of Carrie Muskat and...Kevin Saghy.

Our good friend PAUL SULLIVAN reported yesterday that the Cubs were wearing "F**K THE GOAT!!!" t-shirts to warm-ups. And, sure enough, he got picture evidence for us. Sullivan wonders if some fans will be up in arms that the Cubs are screwing around during a losing season. Not me. I'm more annoyed that the Cubs are ... Read More

There's a reason I like to pick on Ryan Theriot. That reason is because he's not a very good hitter. In case you were fooled by Theriot's "awesome" start to the season, when he put up a .337/.370/.386 line good for a .757 OPS, you probably weren't fooled by his May. Because it was awful. Theriot just finished ... Read More

No, not Silva. Zambrano. Seriously, according to our GOOD FRIEND PAUL SULLIVAN. I'm stunned. ... Read More

I love when Lou Piniella says stuff, preferably into microphones. When Lou came out in support of Mark McGwire a month ago, I thought he was full of crap. This week, he confirmed it. In case you missed it, Lou suggested that Cubs fans will forgive McGwire for taking steroids. Lou hasn't been more wrong since ... Read More

This is apparently the time of year when most of your favorite Cubs blogs have abandoned talking about baseball for talking about football, and I can hardly blame them. But HJE is going to keep covering baseball, dammit. Look, after this week's sweep of the Pirates, we're only- Let's see- STILL ELEVEN AND A HALF GAMES ... Read More

Fair warning. If you like Todd Hundley or any of the Hundley clan, you probably shouldn't read the following story. Everyone still with me? Okay, good. I had to share this nugget sent in by a reader which- Well, I'll just let the story speak for itself. Yesterday i went to the cubs game with a ... Read More

So, wait, you Catholics are forced to eat meat now, right? Or you have do drink blood, or something? Well, whatever you have to do, have fun doing it. Mike D. sent me this picture of our cars getting dropped off at Wrigley. I'm not sure why they needed a truck. They should have just ... Read More

So help me God, until yesterday, I had absolutely no clue that Luis Rivas was on the team. I tried to write "Divas" on the lineup card, and this little twerp runs out there to play. Oh, well. I'll let the little guy hang out until we sign, like, Jose Offerman, or someone. That will probably ... Read More

Well, I guess the big news around here is that someone else is going to be signing my paychecks really soon. And that someone is J. Joe Ricketts. The team is supposedly going to be sold for $900M. That's $9M for each year this team hasn't won a World Series, if you're into doing "math." Rest ... Read More