Hire Jim Essian

I have to admit, I'm a sucker for the "first of the year" list that is always released right after Opening Day. You know, the one that says who had the first RBI, who had the first home run, and who was the most-recent high-priced pitcher to whither under the pressure of pitching for the Yankees. Unfortunately, there ... Read More

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a Cubs blog. But yesterday, the Bears acquired Jay Cutler, arguably the best quarterback they've ever had. Who knew he was so jacked? And who knew a Google image search for "Jay Cutler" would yield such surprising results? Anyhow, Roundup time. Rick Morrissey is, of course, pissed about the best trade ... Read More

For some reason, the Muskbox is mercifully short this week. Maybe Care Bear had something better to do. Like train her flying monkeys to attack that bitch from Kansas. Away we go. I haven't been able to follow the Cubs' spring as much as I'd like to, being on the East Coast, but what are Koyie Hill's chances ... Read More

Happy Ash Wednesday, you silly Catholics. I'm sure half of you have already broken your Lenten resolutions, so let's hope the Cubs fare better with theirs. As always, HJE used its insider access to ask the Cubs (and some former Cubs), "What are YOU giving up for Lent?" LOU PINIELLA: "Losing playoff games." RYAN DEMPSTER: "Fake vomit." TED LILLY: ... Read More

In yet another move clearly designed to get Jake Peavy in a Cubs uniform, Jim Hendry traded Felix Pie and his out-of-control testicles to the Baltimore Orioles for LHP Garrett Olson and RHP Henry Williamson. I'm assuming this is part of the increasingly-more-complicated Peavy-for-Gathright, Miles, some dudes from the Indians, and some other dudes from the Orioles trade. Olson sucked ... Read More

The only time I read Bleed Cubbie Blue is when someone on Desipio links it. For someone on Desipio to link it, the writing must be worse than normal. So when I saw a link to the hilariously stupid "Building A Cubs Champion: Introducing Your 2009 Chicago Cubs" I had to click it. I now fully understand ... Read More

VS. Neal Cotts Bobby Howry ... Read More

I guess my good friend PAUL SULLIVAN must have lost my phone number. He had a perfect opportunity to give his old pal Bad Kermit an opportunity to berate a bunch of dopey Cubs fans, and he wasted it on Ryan Theriot (be sure to check out the post-Mailbag comments; brilliant!). Fortunately, the questions are still hilariously stupid. Ryan, ... Read More