Hire Jim Essian

So help me God, for my entire childhood I thought Lenny Dykstra had no teeth. The guy's mouth was blacker than a kid with braces eating Oreos. I did know one thing, though. I knew that every time "Nails" came up against the Cubs, he was going to be a huge pain in the ass for whichever ... Read More

Now that you've had the weekend to read, highlight, and understand the 400+ page Mitchell Report, you might be thinking that it proves something. It certainly does. It proves that there are a lot of incredibly stupid baseball players out there, and there are even stupider fans. As to the players, how stupid do you have to be to ... Read More

If you were playing at home, the answer was a bunch of shitty players with a needle in the bathroom stall. Marvin Benard? Randy Velarde? Tim Laker? Gregg Zaun? Jerry Hairston, Jr.? Todd Pratt? Kent Mercker? These are the names we've been waiting over a year to read? Come on! ... Read More

We might as well have a running thread during the day to keep you apprised as to the names which have been named in the Mitchell Report. So far, two of my least favorite players in baseball are on the list. Yay! Please feel free to help me keep track in the comments. I'll update the ... Read More