Hire Jim Essian

The image to your right is just one of the many amazing/infuriating ones you'll find among these 10 years of Ronnie Woo photographs. (HT: Luis) The pictures reveal the answers to so many mysteries. Did you know Ronnie has a daughter? Did you know he's never been sober? Did you know he likes to chase ... Read More

Oh, how typical. The second I switch allegiances to the Twins, good things start happening to the Cubs. They go up to Milwaukee and absolutely annihilate the Brewers. Plus, a drunken Chad plummets to his near-death while trying to catch a batting practice foul ball, the rarest of rare foul balls. (HT: Grow Stubs Grow and ... Read More

My brain is still reeling over yesterday's decision to send Carlos Zambrano to the bullpen. Whether you love Zambrano (like Dolan) or don't (like me), you'd be a total fucking idiot to like this idea. In the Zambrano post, paintersix (sorry to pick on you) said, "I think it's a terrible idea but .....if it works were all ... Read More

Happy Friday, lady and gentlemen! It's that time of week, again. Time when Skip dusts off the internet, combs through the comment section, chuckles heartily at comments like PH Steamer's, "I�ve been reading this site for only 3 years? It feels like an eternity," and chooses a Comment of the Week. It was nice to see all of you ... Read More

(Ed. Note: This post was all set to go up on Wednesday. And then Milton, in one of the most appropriately-timed tantrums of all time, decided to throw the good people of Chicago under the bus AGAIN. Thanks, Milton, for being the rule that proves that there is absolutely nothing exceptional about you.) The three-year anniversary of HJE ... Read More

Milton Bradley plays baseball for a living. Yet, somehow, he is one of the unhappiest, most petulant assholes on the planet. And it's all YOUR fault that he is. YOUR fault. Die, Milton, you son of a bitch. When you blame the fans you put yourself in some elite company, the case against whom is ... Read More

With each passing day that doesn't end with Kevin Millar getting sewn into a burlap sack and tossed into a reservoir, I get more and more nervous that he is going to end up making this team. There is absolutely no logical reason for this. Millar is terrible, he is offensive to at least four of my senses, ... Read More

Oh, happy day! Today is the first official day of the rest of your 2010 Cubs season. Why are we celebrating that? I don't know. Will this season be as difficult to watch as last season? Probably. Are our hopes at least down, meaning tickets will be easier to find? Hopefully. If ... Read More

I love when Lou Piniella says stuff, preferably into microphones. When Lou came out in support of Mark McGwire a month ago, I thought he was full of crap. This week, he confirmed it. In case you missed it, Lou suggested that Cubs fans will forgive McGwire for taking steroids. Lou hasn't been more wrong since ... Read More

Our latest installment of the Muskbox commits a fallacy of the undistributed middle, frets over the career of Micah Hoffpauir, and throws a wild kegger in Vinton, Iowa! Join me, won't you, on our weekly excursion into the minds of the mentally-impaired? Why don't the Cubs just go ahead and let Castro open the season at shortstop and move Ryan ... Read More