Hire Jim Essian

Growing up as a pure left-handed baseball player, my options on the field were limited. I was primarily a first baseman, though I did have my fair share of opportunities in the outfield and one ill-advised stint behind home plate (Why do they even SELL left-handed catcher's mitts?). I've come to accept the fact that there are really only five positions on a baseball diamond for left-handers. The latest Muskbox has not yet accepted the same fact. Even more amazingly, someone finally asks a good question, and it's followed up with NO ANSWER. Muskbox, away!

I'm going to get around to posting the Photoshops from the other day. I'm also going to get around to the next entry on the T79. But occasionally there comes along an article so stupid, that it must immediately be addressed. Five times out of ten, that article is written by Phil Rogers. But the other ... Read More

I know you're already anticipating next week's Muskbox, when someone from Terrae Haute suggests that the Cubs take a flyer on Milton Bradley and start him at first base over Pena. Sadly, you and I still have to get through this week's Muskbox, however. But, because we're Americans, we get up, we read our Muskbox even though we ... Read More

Add Seattle to the ever-growing list of cities that can't stand having Milton Bradley living there. In honor of the utter waste of oxygen that is Milton Bradley, here are a bunch of pictures of him acting like a total asshole. Enjoy! ... Read More

Everyone who has watched Carlos Silva pitch or eat has gotten sick to his stomach. The pitching part continued today, as Silva gave up eight runs in the third inning to the Angels. Presumably, Aramis Ramirez just stood over at third base and laughed his ass off. For a franchise that didn't have any qualms about throwing actual, productive ... Read More

It's been a long time, folks. I've missed you. And, okay, this SEEMS like a no-brainer. We're revisiting the Silva-Bradley trade. Shit has happened. It's a little bit later. Milton Bradley whipped a glass at a girl's face, which is just about the most-unacceptable thing a human man can do. However, Carlos Silva ... Read More

Thank you to everyone who let me know that CRIMINALLY MISUNDERSTOOD Milton Bradley was arrested for criminally misspeaking to a woman. It was probably that racist bitch of a kindergarten teacher his son had in Chicago. Here is California Penal Code Section 422 concerning "criminal threats": 422. Any person who willfully threatens to commit a crime which will result in death ... Read More

This afternoon Pre brought to my attention a little bit of oddness from Yahoo. In a post regarding the potential of a Matt Garza trade to the Cubs, "Louis" had some unkind words for Jim Hendry. I have said it before and I will say it again... Until Jim Hendry is fired and a real gm is hired the cubs ... Read More

You know how Jim Hendry goes through phases every offseason? A couple of seasons in a row, he would only sign the "top" reliever on the market. And for a couple of seasons he would only sign left-handed hitters. And then there was that season he only signed sociopaths. Or when he would only sign guys ... Read More

If there's one sports radio refrain that annoys me, it's, "Tom Ricketts is being SO SMART AND CAREFUL about his evaluation of Jim Hendry." Bullshit. The Cubs are now halfway through their first season under Ricketts' ownership. They're 39-50, with the third-highest payroll in all of Major League Baseball. The only two more expensive teams are ... Read More