Hire Jim Essian

Look! Up in the air! It's a middle infielder nearly as short as the ones the Cubs love collecting! It's an average second baseman who put up average numbers against most of the teams in the National League! It's a tiny little guy who mysteriously starting slamming home runs, but then shrunk and couldn't stay ... Read More

Surely, you remember Preston Wilson. His hair was kinda- I don't know- brown. Well, not really brown. Oh, he's tall. Yeah. Kinda- kinda tall. Sorta tall. And he's always wearing- like- t-shirts. I mean, he's Preston. PRESTON. You know? Preston. Press-TONE! And he's the 29th biggest Cub ... Read More

You can just imagine my jubilation when I read the title to this week's Muskbox. "How Clutch is Theriot?" the Muskbox inquired. "THIS MANY!" Theriot responded, holding up three fingers on his right hand and one finger on his left hand. And that's how this Muskbox was born. I know Ryan Theriot has had some clutch hits recently, ... Read More

Every day is "Pick on Phil Rogers" Day at HJE, so this will be no exception. As you know, in early February Phildo predicted the Houston Astros were planning a "sneak attack" on the Cubs. This is, of course, inordinately stupid. But after the Cubs beat the Astros last night to win their first opening series since ... Read More