Hire Jim Essian

What do you want to talk about from last night? The four errors? The wild pitch? The eight-games-under-.500 record? The fact that John Grabow actually made it through an entire inning without giving up a run? Wait a minute. When the hell did Grabow get back? Ah, screw it. At the risk ... Read More

I think I'm having a Cub mid-life crisis. I had no idea who the Cubs were playing last night until I logged on to MLB At-Bat to watch highlights from Stephen Strasburg's debut. I wasn't surprised to learn that the Cubs had suffered another one-run loss to another terrible team. I can't remember the last time I ... Read More

There's a reason I like to pick on Ryan Theriot. That reason is because he's not a very good hitter. In case you were fooled by Theriot's "awesome" start to the season, when he put up a .337/.370/.386 line good for a .757 OPS, you probably weren't fooled by his May. Because it was awful. Theriot just finished ... Read More

Hello again, gangsters! It's been a while since the Comment of the Week. But I'm not going to apologize, because it'll almost definitely happen again. This Comment of the Week comes from this week's Muskbox. I believe we have a first-time winner. Mike Fontenot in A Few Good Fontenots writes: Because deep down, in places you don�t talk ... Read More

Folks, we have reached a new low, even by Muskbox standards. Someone actually took the time to write in and complain about Starlin Castro. Starlin is currently sporting an excellent .328/.386/.469 line. As Dolan recently pointed out, he has reached base at least once in every single game he's played. All seventeen of them. He ... Read More

Forget the fact that the Cubs have managed to score four runs in two games against one of the worst pitching staffs in the National League. Forget the fact that last night's starter, Charlie Morton, dropped his ERA by 2.27 runs to 10.30 by pitching against your hapless Northsiders. Forget that John Grabow is getting paid $2.7M this ... Read More

If you were wondering why Jeff Baker had several consecutive days off at the end of April and beginning of May, Son of Jim Essian Edelweiss may have discovered the answer. By the way, there is a reason Baker has not been starting until today. I know someone in the Cubs organization, who informed me last week that Baker and two ... Read More

I kid you not. The new Muskbox image was barely altered. Yes, there was a giant amount of white space where the HJE logo now sits. I like to imagine when Carrie saw it, she let out an exasperated sigh. Anyhow, I love it, I have adopted it, and I am embracing it. I completely ... Read More

Well, the Cubs finally broke Lou Piniella's brain. After yesterday's loss, George Castle asked Lou a reasonable question about whether Lou considered bunting Marlon Byrd to third base with no outs in the bottom of the 8th inning while trailing by a run. Bunting in that situation is a completely reasonable baseball strategy that would have made perfect ... Read More

So, Dolan and Kermit start a new blog and don't invite me and Skip? FUCK. YOU. GUYS. The rest of you know where to find the only GOOD writers in the baseball blogosphere. Right here. At HJE. And those writers are me and Skip. Don't send your Roundup tips to Fisting Fouls, ... Read More