Hire Jim Essian

I offer you this submission. Never has there been a more hate-worthy Cub shortstop than Ryan Theriot. Not Jeff Blauser. Not Neifi Perez. Not Alex Gonzalez. Not Ronny Cedeno. All of those guys were terrible, but they either had some redeeming moments (Gonzalez), were hated solely because of misuse (Perez), were harmless simpletons (Cedeno), ... Read More

It's not a question of whether or not you've heard it this season. It's a question of how many times you've heard it. It's some variation of "This team would be so much better if they'd kept Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa." Maybe over the course of the season, those people will be right, but they sure ... Read More

How long has the Muskbag been back in Muskbox form? A couple of months? Why is this still at the top of every single one? The mailbag is back, but it's now the Inbox... Are there people out there so hopelessly confused that they can't find this column? Some Dipshit's Thoughts: I think I'll head to my favorite site, Cubs.com, to see ... Read More

Not really. I just wanted to use that headline. Jim Hendry is making a shitload of moves this offseason, isn't he? Today, he unloaded two more guys who were out of options in Rich Hill and Michael Wuertz. Does anyone see a big picture here? I'm at a loss. *Thanks to Jon for the heads-up. ... Read More

The only time I read Bleed Cubbie Blue is when someone on Desipio links it. For someone on Desipio to link it, the writing must be worse than normal. So when I saw a link to the hilariously stupid "Building A Cubs Champion: Introducing Your 2009 Chicago Cubs" I had to click it. I now fully understand ... Read More

This week's Muskbag is chock full of personal questions, propositions, and SAM FULD. Hurray! Why does Lou Piniella keep using Bob Howry in close situations? Howry has been bad all year. He currently has a 5.54 ERA and a 1.42 WHIP, and he's already given up more home runs than in any other season. -- Red W., New York, N.Y. And now ... Read More

Nah, just kidding. It's dumb again. That's 1,023 horrible questions in a row, if you're keeping track. Of course, if you are, you're dumber than a Muskbag. I only do it because it's my job. My free job. How much longer is manager Lou Piniella willing to give Fukudome to get his offense going before he ... Read More

This may have already been discussed in the Shoutbox while I was recovering from the rooftop game, but I'm pretty sure not one, but two Sons of Jim Essian got questions into this week's Muskbag. Meaning it's the greatest Muskbag ever. Shall we? Could you please enlighten me as to what a suspended game is? I thought the Cubs ... Read More

On Saturday, in front of a fan base whose hobby of obsessing over them is exceeded only by their penchant for hurling racial epithets at minorities who walk in front of their bungalows as they sit on their stoop and drink gin made in their bathtub, the Cubs will play their eighty-first game of the 2008 campaign, the literal half-way ... Read More