Hire Jim Essian

Because Tony Womack was the starting shortstop on the World Champion 2001 Diamondbacks, it's sometimes easy to forget how terrible he actually was in his 13 seasons as a Major League Baseball player. It's probably far easier to forget how terrible he was if you're a Cubs fan. After all, when Womack wasn't busy killing the Cubs from ... Read More

Do you know what today is? It's a very special day. It's the one-month pre-anniversary of the end of this godawful season. Was there any doubt that we'd get shut out by a rookie pitcher yesterday? Was there any doubt that Alfonso Soriano would whiff three times and make an error? I've seen bowling teams ... Read More

Barry Bonds' trial might feel like old news, because technically he hasn't been found guilty yet. But it's only a matter of time, right? I mean, the evidence shows that he's tested positive for three different types of steroids and that his personal trainer shot him up with them. He said he never knowingly used steroids in ... Read More

Everyone is piling on Jason Marquis and is thrilled that he is no longer in Chicago. As you know, I've been hoping that Sean Marshall would win Marquis' job for the past two seasons. But instead of adding to the pile let's instead flash back to Sunday, September 16, 2007. You remember 2007. Lou Piniella's first ... Read More

On Saturday, in front of a fan base whose hobby of obsessing over them is exceeded only by their penchant for hurling racial epithets at minorities who walk in front of their bungalows as they sit on their stoop and drink gin made in their bathtub, the Cubs will play their eighty-first game of the 2008 campaign, the literal half-way ... Read More

Nah, I'm just messing with you, Jim. Lou has balls enough for the whole team. Really, though, I'm going to freak you out with this one. Forget Erik Bedard. Forget him. I figured out how you can end your offseason as the top team in the National League without him. I'm hoping, Jim, that as I ... Read More