Hire Jim Essian

Thank you, Matt Holliday. Thank you so very much for last night. Sure, it may sound like sour grapes to laugh at the misfortunes of the Cardinals. And it most certainly is. There will be Cardinals fans saying things like, "Well, at least our team MADE the playoffs!" And they can go fuck themselves. ... Read More

After a loooooong hiatus, the Muskbox has finally returned to half-answer all of your dumbest questions about the Cubs! The Muskbox is one of the few things that keeps me going during the offseason, so here's hoping that this is the first in a streak of many successful and hilarious fall and winter Muskboxes. CARRIE: It's been tough to ... Read More

Anyone still paying attention to this team is probably aware that, after a very slow start, Jeff Baker has done a pretty incredible job with the Cubs this year. The second baseman has put up a .329/.380/.476 line in a Cubs uniform, with 19 RBIs in 170 at-bats, to boot. Last night, he had an incredible at-bat against ... Read More

Well, I imagine if it doesn't happen today, it's going to happen at some point this weekend. Since the Fall of 2006, the birth of HJE, the Cubs had never failed to make the postseason. Presumably that's about to change, disproving my theory that HJE is magic. In a tradition started (and shelved) after the 2006 season, ... Read More

No, not really. I'm just aping the headline of Rick Morrissey's latest load of crap. "Despite big mistakes, Jim Hendry deserves one more shot." When the final pitch is thrown of the 2009 season, I don't think we'll actually end up calling the Cubs a "bad" team. "Disappointing," sure. "Underachieving," maybe. The same cannot ... Read More

Hey, gang! Either you guys are terrified of the new commenting system or you're upset that the team you follow has taken a nose dive, because there weren't many comments to choose from this week. That's great news for you folks who are dying for a Comment of the Week trophy, like Grow Stubs Grow is. His ... Read More

This is apparently the time of year when most of your favorite Cubs blogs have abandoned talking about baseball for talking about football, and I can hardly blame them. But HJE is going to keep covering baseball, dammit. Look, after this week's sweep of the Pirates, we're only- Let's see- STILL ELEVEN AND A HALF GAMES ... Read More

Okay, it's reality-check time. Even if the Cardinals go one game under .500 for the rest of the way, they'll finish 88-74. For the Cubs to reach 88 wins, they'll have to go 28-17, a .622 winning percentage. Unlikely, since they're playing .513 baseball this year and are in danger of getting swept by a terrible 51-70 ... Read More

Hello, kids! I'm all giddy today, because I'm getting ready for our three-game sweep of the Cardinals, now that they lost THE MOST IMPORTANT PLAYER TO ANY TEAM IN MLB HISTORY. I hope you guys have picked a different Cardinals player to standing ovate this weekend. If you haven't, may I suggest Todd Wellemeyer? He "played ... Read More

First of all, I have HUGE NEWS! Jim acquired Jeff Baker from the Rockies! I guess that's only huge if you assume the Aaron Miles era is over. I'm not completely convinced that it is. Anyhow, since most of you won't be working tomorrow (meaning we probably won't post tomorrow), you get your weekly Roundup a ... Read More