Hire Jim Essian

Thanks to Skip for handling the Roundup duties for me last week. This week, it's back to serious business. There were so many ludicrous, random news stories this week, that you'll have to forgive me for including a bunch of non-Cubs-related stuff. Actually, I don't give a shit if you're mad at me. Fume away, geeks. ... Read More

What the hell is going on around here? Up is down. Down is up. We got that clown Dempster saying we weren't ready for the goddamn playoffs. I'm saying we were. We've got the Orioles saying that they want to be a competitive baseball team, yet they're looking at Cesar Izturis. We've got the Muskrat saying that we're ... Read More

I was hoping Bacon and Fries would run on the same ticket. The same delicious ticket. Thanks to Holy Taco for the picture. Anyhow, it's Roundup time: Bud Selig is a cockbag, and I hope Mark Cuban sues him and the courts threaten to take away Major League Baseball's antitrust exemption. I'm actually for coin flips deciding the playoffs, ... Read More

I hate the Cardinals. I loathe the Cardinals. I abhor the Cardinals. I would rather wash Sarah Jessica Parker's feet than manage the Cardinals. I would rather lick a Wrigley trough. But instead, we'll just knock them out of the race this weekend, and I'll just do the Roundup today. How valuable was Scott Eyre? ... Read More