At Long Last, Introducing Dishonorary B126er Milton “You Sank Our Battleship” Bradley
(Ed. Note: This post was all set to go up on Wednesday. And then Milton, in one of the most appropriately-timed tantrums of all time, decided to throw the good people of Chicago under the bus AGAIN. Thanks, Milton, for being the rule that proves that there is absolutely nothing exceptional about you.) The three-year [...]
A-Ram Baller Becomes a White Sox Fan
Christmas came early to Sox-hating Cubs fans this year. The Los Angeles Dodgers have just traded Juan Pierre to the Chicago White Sox. If you were here for the Bottom 126, you will recall that my entry on Pierre touched off one of the hottest, one-sided debates in HJE history. Welcome back to Chicago, Juan. [...]
The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #53: Jason Schmidt “Hits the Fan”
It’s been a while since Jason Schmidt was considered an elite MLB pitcher. It’s also been a while since the last time Schmidt pitched against the Chicago Cubs. Coincidence? Yes. But that doesn’t make Jason Schmidt any less deserving of being named the 53rd biggest Cub Killer of my time.
Cubs Celebrate 250th “First Start Back From Injury”
Oh, hey. Ted Lilly is back. I almost forgot about him. The left-hander’s return means that one of his teammates is DL-bound. Everyone hopes it will be Aaron Miles, but I predict that Aramis Ramirez’s face will melt off. Lilly will start the first game of a West Coast road trip consisting of three games [...]
I Hate the NL West
Maybe I’m just annoyed with how the weekend series has gone so far. Maybe it’s because it seems like Todd Helton hits .800 against the Cubs. Maybe it’s because such piles of shit as Neifi Perez, Aaron Miles, Shawn Estes, and Dusty Baker have associations with NL West teams. Maybe it’s because of the outcome [...]
It’s the Goocher!
I’ve been at some strange Cubs games in my life. I was at the game in 2000 against the Dodgers when some enterprising Cubs fan nearly incited a riot by swiping the hat off the head of Chad Kreuter while Kreuter was seated in the Dodger bullpen. I was at the game against the Rockies [...]
Saving Grace
I’m going to guess that this is going to incense some of you. Others are going to read it, pull a Bob Sugar, and say, “Finally, someone said it!” Some of you will question my baseball acumen. Others will say, “Hey, maybe Kermit wears a diaper for a reason other than his stupidity.” But I [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “At Least the Defense is Solid” Edition
So help me God, until yesterday, I had absolutely no clue that Luis Rivas was on the team. I tried to write “Divas” on the lineup card, and this little twerp runs out there to play. Oh, well. I’ll let the little guy hang out until we sign, like, Jose Offerman, or someone. That will [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “What We’ve Learned So Far” Edition
Hey, stupids. This week’s Friday Roundup is going to go CRAZY and have a theme. What have we learned from two Spring Training games?
I’m Thankful for the Muskbag
EDIT: It’s come to my attention from my good friend PAUL SULLIVAN (through Dolan) that Carrie Muskat’s father recently passed away. I know I have my fun at Carrie’s expense on a weekly basis, but mine and I hope your thoughts and prayers are with the Muskat family in their time of grief. Oh, hey, [...]
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