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The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #10: Victor Di-”In a Fire”-az

Posted On 19 Jan 2012 By Bad Kermit. Under: The Top 79.
The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #10: Victor Di-”In a Fire”-az After four years, six months, and 26 days, we have finally arrived at the top ten. This final stretch is going to be equal parts fun and nightmarish. And we start with Jon Miller's dream player: a Latino man who likes to have his name pronounce incorrectly. A man who has one of the shortest professional careers of any player on the T79. A man whose name I would suspect is more well-known by Cubs fans than by Mets fans, even though he played for the latter. A man whom I once drunkenly asked if he wanted a hot dog when he was playing right field on a cold May afternoon at Wrigley Field. Victor Diaz, the tenth-biggest Cub Killer of My Time.

The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #13: Tim “I Am the” Wallach

Posted On 03 Jan 2012 By Bad Kermit. Under: The Top 79.
The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #13: Tim “I Am the” Wallach Tim Wallach was many things. A five-time All-Star. A two-time NL doubles leader. A two-time Silver Slugger. A three-time Gold Glove winner. What he wasn't was good. His OPSes in the five seasons he went to an All-Star Game were: .706, .759, .858, .760, and .810. He won one of his Silver Sluggers while hitting only .260 (he hit .298 for the other one). He is a career .257/.316/.416 hitter who averaged 19 home runs and 82 RBIs in a 17-season MLB career with the Expos, Dodgers, and Angels. He is also the 13th-biggest Cub Killer of My Time.

The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #20: Paul “LEE KAY!” Konerko

Posted On 09 Nov 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: The Top 79.
The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #20: Paul “LEE KAY!” Konerko Paul Konerko has long been the most popular member of the White Sox. And why not? Sure, he looks like a record-store clerk, but he can hit, and he allegedly help the White Sox to a World Series title in 2005. Plus, the overweight female population alone has kept XXL Konerko jerseys in huge demand. His fans' jerseys, however, aren't the only thing XXL about Konerko's career. The first baseman's career numbers against the Cubs earned him the 20th spot on the Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time.

The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #25: Greg “That They Let Him Go Still Makes Me” Maddux

Posted On 28 Sep 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Ex-Cubs, The Top 79.
The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #25: Greg “That They Let Him Go Still Makes Me” Maddux Whenever a team lets a player go for no compensation, although they say all the right things and wish him well, they are secretly hoping that the player sucks throughout the course of his career. You hope he becomes Mark Prior or Matt Clement or Rueben Quevedo. You certainly don't want him to become the greatest pitcher of ... Read More

The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #26: “Hating Private” Ryan Theriot

Posted On 20 Sep 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Ex-Cubs, NL Central, The Top 79.
The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #26: “Hating Private” Ryan Theriot I offer you this submission. Never has there been a more hate-worthy Cub shortstop than Ryan Theriot. Not Jeff Blauser. Not Neifi Perez. Not Alex Gonzalez. Not Ronny Cedeno. All of those guys were terrible, but they either had some redeeming moments (Gonzalez), were hated solely because of misuse (Perez), were harmless simpletons (Cedeno), ... Read More

At Long Last, Introducing Dishonorary B126er Milton “You Sank Our Battleship” Bradley

Posted On 11 Mar 2010 By Bad Kermit. Under: Ex-Cubs, The Bottom 126.
At Long Last, Introducing Dishonorary B126er Milton “You Sank Our Battleship” Bradley (Ed. Note: This post was all set to go up on Wednesday. And then Milton, in one of the most appropriately-timed tantrums of all time, decided to throw the good people of Chicago under the bus AGAIN. Thanks, Milton, for being the rule that proves that there is absolutely nothing exceptional about you.) The three-year anniversary of HJE ... Read More

A-Ram Baller Becomes a White Sox Fan

Posted On 15 Dec 2009 By Bad Kermit. Under: Around the MLB, Ex-Cubs, Transactions.
A-Ram Baller Becomes a White Sox Fan Christmas came early to Sox-hating Cubs fans this year. The Los Angeles Dodgers have just traded Juan Pierre to the Chicago White Sox. If you were here for the Bottom 126, you will recall that my entry on Pierre touched off one of the hottest, one-sided debates in HJE history. Welcome back to Chicago, Juan. May your balls ... Read More

The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #53: Jason Schmidt “Hits the Fan”

Posted On 01 Oct 2009 By Bad Kermit. Under: Around the MLB, Cubs, The Top 79.
The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #53: Jason Schmidt “Hits the Fan” It's been a while since Jason Schmidt was considered an elite MLB pitcher. It's also been a while since the last time Schmidt pitched against the Chicago Cubs. Coincidence? Yes. But that doesn't make Jason Schmidt any less deserving of being named the 53rd biggest Cub Killer of my time. Jason Schmidt was selected by the Atlanta ... Read More

Cubs Celebrate 250th “First Start Back From Injury”

Posted On 17 Aug 2009 By Bad Kermit. Under: Cubs.
Cubs Celebrate 250th “First Start Back From Injury” Oh, hey. Ted Lilly is back. I almost forgot about him. The left-hander's return means that one of his teammates is DL-bound. Everyone hopes it will be Aaron Miles, but I predict that Aramis Ramirez's face will melt off. Lilly will start the first game of a West Coast road trip consisting of three games ... Read More

I Hate the NL West

Posted On 10 Aug 2009 By Bad Kermit. Under: Around the MLB, Cubs.
I Hate the NL West Maybe I'm just annoyed with how the weekend series has gone so far. Maybe it's because it seems like Todd Helton hits .800 against the Cubs. Maybe it's because such piles of shit as Neifi Perez, Aaron Miles, Shawn Estes, and Dusty Baker have associations with NL West teams. Maybe it's because of the outcome of the ... Read More
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