Hire Jim Essian

At long last, Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer are officially official, and you can stop worrying that the Cubs would discover some way to screw up their hiring. The MLB can also stop worrying that the "contentious negotiations" between the Cubs and the Red Sox was distracting everyone from watching the World Series. This is how stupid Bud ... Read More

If there's one terrible thing about having to watch Comcast Sports Net and WGN to see Cubs games, it's the fact that the Cubs share TV time with the White Sox. Therefore, every time they run a TV promo of two of the most exciting moments in recent (2005 DIDN'T FUCKING HAPPEN) White Sox history, I have no choice ... Read More

When I was growing up watching Cubs games with Harry Caray and Steve Stone in the booth, I'm ashamed to admit that I honestly thought Stone was a baseball genius. It blew my mind that Stone could prognosticate which pitch would be thrown in a certain situation or whether or not a batter would try to steal a base. ... Read More

I had a long night on Tuesday night. Long enough to cause me to doze off during the Cubs-Braves game last night. It was a mercy doze. I was awake for long enough to hear Len Kasper say, "You want to be careful here," to John Grabow. Through half-closed eyes, I saw Chipper Jones hit a ... Read More

You know me. I can't resist a good (or terrible) meme. Thanks, as always, for all the great links. The Roundup took forever because of all of them (which is a good thing). Keep 'em coming. Lots to get to, so enjoy wasting the rest of your Friday with this week's Roundup. In case you missed ... Read More

Before any Brewers fans catch wind of this and freak out, I want to clarify something right off the bat. I don't care if the Cubs throw at Ryan Braun. I don't want the guy's blood like a lot of people do. It's the Cubs' prerogative if they think he was showing Ryan Dempster up after his ... Read More

Every day is "Pick on Phil Rogers" Day at HJE, so this will be no exception. As you know, in early February Phildo predicted the Houston Astros were planning a "sneak attack" on the Cubs. This is, of course, inordinately stupid. But after the Cubs beat the Astros last night to win their first opening series since ... Read More

Opening Day is finally here. Since you're all jobless losers, I assume you're going to be out drinking and watching the game tonight. And what's more fun than watching baseball and drinking? Why, watching baseball and BINGE drinking, of course! With that, here is your 2009 version of the Cubs Drinking Game. Play ball! ... Read More

How long has the Muskbag been back in Muskbox form? A couple of months? Why is this still at the top of every single one? The mailbag is back, but it's now the Inbox... Are there people out there so hopelessly confused that they can't find this column? Some Dipshit's Thoughts: I think I'll head to my favorite site, Cubs.com, to see ... Read More

Since there was no Roundup last week due to the fact that I was in a turkey coma, I have a lot of catching up to do. Plus, we have the Winter Meetings coming up next week in Las Vegas, so I have to help Hendry pick out a bunch of Hawaiian fat guy shirts. So, here we ... Read More