The Muskbox Makes Bedfellows of Pitchers and Hitting Coaches
I apologize for the tardiness of the Muskbox. I was under the weather yesterday and reading this week’s Muskbox could have only made matters worse. Why? Well, because it spends a significant amount of time fretting about the hurt feelings of Ryan Theriot. And that’s- That’s- Excuse me. /runs to bathroom
Pitchers, Catchers, Carlos Silva Report to Camp
Oh, happy day! Today is the first official day of the rest of your 2010 Cubs season. Why are we celebrating that? I don’t know. Will this season be as difficult to watch as last season? Probably. Are our hopes at least down, meaning tickets will be easier to find? Hopefully. If you tied a [...]
New Year’s Resolutions: 2010 Edition
Since “everyone” on the “staff” at HJE has managed to achieve social perfection, “we” decided to (not really) ask for the New Year’s resolutions of your favorite Cubs (including new Cub Marlon Byrd). And your least favorite Cubs. And some other people.
Hire Tony LaRussa!
No, not really. It’s just our old pal David Kaplan at it again! Russ Kelly pointed out Kaplan’s latest Cubs fix entitled, “The Cubs Need to Sign the #1 Free Agent This Winter.” Hey, give Kaplan some credit for the headline. There isn’t a single exclamation point in the entire thing. Sorry about the infrequency [...]
Oh, Shut the F@#% Up, Milton
Hey, Milton. What’s up, man? Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something. I know you have a really rough life, what with a busy travel schedule necessitated by the fact that you play baseball for a living. And I know it’s sometimes probably tough to figure out who your friends are when you [...]
Larry Rothschild is Not Interested in Your Advice
I don’t know if this is legitimate, particularly since it came from TDubbs (thanks for the tip), but- Well, just read the e-mail TDubbs got from a friend: Well, I’ve been calling Rothschild once a month for over a year. He never answers, but I always leave a message. Sometimes its Cubs related, but other [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Making the Roundup Less Dumb” Edition
So, I was driving along I-55 the other day (wait for cheering to die down) when I noticed this SUV in front of me that had, so help me God, the vanity license plate “POO MAN.” This was the best picture I could get without slamming into the median or, worse, into the POO MAN. [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: A “Very Special Hundley” Edition
Fair warning. If you like Todd Hundley or any of the Hundley clan, you probably shouldn’t read the following story. Everyone still with me? Okay, good. I had to share this nugget sent in by a reader which- Well, I’ll just let the story speak for itself. Yesterday i went to the cubs game with [...]
Is David Kaplan Changing Color to Hide How Dumb He Is?
In case you haven’t noticed, David Kaplan has gradually been changing color from pasty white to Oompa Loompa. I can only imagine the change is for one of the following reasons: The Caucasian race has officially kicked him out. He’s so dumb, his skin doesn’t even realize he’s white. He’s going on a hunting trip [...]
Hey, Cubs! What are YOU Giving up for Lent?
Happy Ash Wednesday, you silly Catholics. I’m sure half of you have already broken your Lenten resolutions, so let’s hope the Cubs fare better with theirs. As always, HJE used its insider access to ask the Cubs (and some former Cubs), “What are YOU giving up for Lent?”
BigFlax
PenFoe
StPatrick
CT
CactusMcHarris