Hire Jim Essian

I sure hope you guys enjoyed our brief stay at .500. Because the Rockies are actually kind of good. Oh, and we're still missing 40% of our starting rotation. And Jeff Samardzija is still on the team. Pitching in Colorado should be F-U-N! But the big news of the week is Barry Bonds managing to avoid a ... Read More

There is no more satisfying sound after a terrible baseball season than the flip of a coin and the gleeful shout of "HEADS!" College football is back to take your mind off the fact that we are a mere ten games away from postseason elimination. If all goes perfectly, that means you officially won't have to watch us ... Read More

This week's Muskbox has done something so amazingly meta, that it's hard to believe it's not on purpose. It's a Muskbox about a blog. Now, are you ready for this? Here's where it gets even funkier. You're about to read another blog mock the Muskbox about being about a blog. Take a few deep breaths ... Read More

Sigh. I leave you guys for one week, and all hell breaks loose around here. Can't you nerds just realize that you're all nerds and embrace one another at the next Star Trek convention? Or do MORE than hug? Look, for a bunch of people who root for a team that hasn't done dick in a ... Read More

Yesterday was a glorious day if you're a Cubs fan, a Notre Dame fan, and a fan of Chip Caray getting leprosy. I am all three of those. Charlie Weis' removal as the head football coach at Notre Dame was expected, but Chip Caray's dismissal from TBS was a pleasant surprise (thanks to all who alerted me to ... Read More

At the Mathematical Elimination Party this Saturday, one of my friends told me she was rooting for the Cardinals to win the World Series. "Why the hell would you do that?" I asked. "Because you have to root for the NL Central when your team gets eliminated," she replied. "Why the hell would I do that?" I ... Read More

This is apparently the time of year when most of your favorite Cubs blogs have abandoned talking about baseball for talking about football, and I can hardly blame them. But HJE is going to keep covering baseball, dammit. Look, after this week's sweep of the Pirates, we're only- Let's see- STILL ELEVEN AND A HALF GAMES ... Read More

Hello, gang! It's good to see you all back after a very rough week of Cubs baseball. Though there is a bright side to having a rough week. The angst-filled comments by you guys get better and better the worse the team plays. So, I'm declaring all of you owners of the Comment of the Week. ... Read More

Okay, it's reality-check time. Even if the Cardinals go one game under .500 for the rest of the way, they'll finish 88-74. For the Cubs to reach 88 wins, they'll have to go 28-17, a .622 winning percentage. Unlikely, since they're playing .513 baseball this year and are in danger of getting swept by a terrible 51-70 ... Read More

Kevin Gregg is officially the least-popular man in Chicago. Not even Lou Piniella can defend him after another dick-kicking blown save in the ninth inning of last night's Padres game. According to Lou, Gregg is no longer the closer. I sure hope Lou means it this time. Lou has a penchant for saying he's going to ... Read More