Hire Jim Essian

I need to get a quick confession off my chest right up front here. When I was a kid, I loved Mark McGwire. I don't know if it was because he was a first baseman like me, because his team had actually won a World Series in my lifetime, or because I felt bad that he was a ... Read More

Well, that was a nice little All-Star break, no? Go, National League! Did you guys see me on the bench? I'm not going to say the Arizona sun was entirely kind to my head, but at the same time it wasn't entirely UNkind. Your tips are nearly as appreciated as a bottle of sunscreen and a ... Read More

I sure hope you guys enjoyed our brief stay at .500. Because the Rockies are actually kind of good. Oh, and we're still missing 40% of our starting rotation. And Jeff Samardzija is still on the team. Pitching in Colorado should be F-U-N! But the big news of the week is Barry Bonds managing to avoid a ... Read More

EDITOR'S NOTE: In light of a new season starting today, in keeping with the theme of HJE, and because Uncle Mike is about as vanilla as Neapolitan ice cream without the chocolate and strawberry, we have a new Friday host! Be nice to him. He's old. Hello, Cubs fans. Popeye here. I guess I'm supposed to ... Read More

Okay, so it's more like "Today at 1:20..." but the message is still the same. Derrek Lee is no longer a Cub, but, hey, at least John Grabow is out for the season. Remember him? Remember how he pitched for a while there? Sure you do. Not a whole lot of tips to be had ... Read More

Okay, sad sacks. Since I know you really only follow this team to complain about us, I have some bad news for you. We might not be as terrible as you think we are. Everyone was saying this stretch of games against the Phillies, Rangers, Dodgers, and Cardinals was going to kill us. We're 5-3 so ... Read More

The image to your right is just one of the many amazing/infuriating ones you'll find among these 10 years of Ronnie Woo photographs. (HT: Luis) The pictures reveal the answers to so many mysteries. Did you know Ronnie has a daughter? Did you know he's never been sober? Did you know he likes to chase ... Read More

Ahoy, there, Cubs fans! I hear a fair number of you are considering jumping ship after your manager inexplicably moved one of his best starters to the bullpen. Well, far be it from me to try to sway you one way or another, but up here in Minnesota, we have a new ballpark, one of the most exciting ... Read More

One of the difficulties of taking so long to finish writing the list of the Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time is that the list includes many active players. Some of them completely dominated the Cubs when I first wrote the list. For example, Zach Duke, of all people, was a top-ten Cub killer when the list ... Read More