Hire Jim Essian

There was a time not so long ago when Adam Dunn was a legitimate threat to use a baseball bat to make contact with a baseball. A simpler time, when Dunn was a National League player forced to run around uncomfortably in the infield or outfield with a glove on his hand. A time when Dunn would positively VORP your face off, even as radio callers would complain about his copious strikeouts and "three possible outcomes" approach to hitting. It was in this far simpler time that the man who would become the 19th-biggest Cub Killer of My Time was born.

Back in the glory days of video game baseball (read: MVP 2005), Jose Vidro was a favorite target of mine when trying to upgrade my Cub franchise. At the time, the pudgy, switch-hitting second baseman was under-appreciated by a virtual Omar Minaya, and could be had at cents on the dollar. Perhaps Vidro was the apple of my ... Read More

You finally get a Godfather quote and it's from Godfather III. How does THAT feel? Anyhow, I saw the Muskbag was back, and I couldn't let that aggression go unchecked. I noticed that Ryan Dempster is eligible to become a free agent this offseason. Are the Cubs going to re-sign him? Who else is eligible for free agency? -- Steve ... Read More

11 more wins. That's all the Cubs need to collect to make the unthinkable thinkable and to set off what will be the most ridiculous party in the history of the city of Chicago. You know HJE has a plan to count this down in style. Below are my top eleven moments of the 2008 season (in ... Read More

This week's Muskbag is chock full of personal questions, propositions, and SAM FULD. Hurray! Why does Lou Piniella keep using Bob Howry in close situations? Howry has been bad all year. He currently has a 5.54 ERA and a 1.42 WHIP, and he's already given up more home runs than in any other season. -- Red W., New York, N.Y. And now ... Read More

This may have already been discussed in the Shoutbox while I was recovering from the rooftop game, but I'm pretty sure not one, but two Sons of Jim Essian got questions into this week's Muskbag. Meaning it's the greatest Muskbag ever. Shall we? Could you please enlighten me as to what a suspended game is? I thought the Cubs ... Read More

As you know, your local HJE idiots put together a panel of experts to form a Round Table of sorts to answer all eight of your preseason Cubs questions. Of course, the gang at HJE chipped in, too. For Part One of the ensuing mayhem, click here. Part Two follows. Question Three: If Ryan Theriot were to ... Read More

Okay, come on. There have been rumors floating around for a while that the Cubs were interested in Jon Lieber, but I thought nothing would come of them. It looks like something actually might come of them. While normally I would be in favor of any move that decreases Ryan Dempster's chance of starting a game for ... Read More