Hire Jim Essian

The firing of hitting coach Von Joshua was the latest in a series of pointless moves by Jim Hendry this season. For those of you still interested in discussing the 2009 Cubs, here's a topic of conversation for you. Are there any pointless moves I missed? ... Read More

Welcome to the merciful final weekend of the season. I can't honestly recommend watching us finish up the season against a bad Diamondbacks team, so instead I'll suggest that you pay attention to the only pennant race left. Kermit has made no secret of his unabashed love for the Minnesota Twins. I can hardly blame him. All of ... Read More

You know that old adage, "If you can't laugh at yourself, then you suck"? I have to give credit to Carrie for not sucking today. (HT: James) Good one, Carrie. We're one step closing to you fisking one of the Muskboxes, and then I'll have to fisk that, and we'll just keep passing the same article ... Read More

Our good friend Hitler is back, and he's not too happy to hear that Aramis Ramirez is hurt. ... Read More

For some reason, the Muskbox is mercifully short this week. Maybe Care Bear had something better to do. Like train her flying monkeys to attack that bitch from Kansas. Away we go. I haven't been able to follow the Cubs' spring as much as I'd like to, being on the East Coast, but what are Koyie Hill's chances ... Read More

On my way home from work tonight, the lovely J-Kerm called me to ask if I wanted to go out to dinner at a local Naperville establishment. J-Kerm, who has a sudden affinity for signing us up for every single e-mail club on the planet, had a coupon for a free entree that expires tomorrow. So off we ... Read More

In yet another move clearly designed to get Jake Peavy in a Cubs uniform, Jim Hendry traded Felix Pie and his out-of-control testicles to the Baltimore Orioles for LHP Garrett Olson and RHP Henry Williamson. I'm assuming this is part of the increasingly-more-complicated Peavy-for-Gathright, Miles, some dudes from the Indians, and some other dudes from the Orioles trade. Olson sucked ... Read More

Let the games begin. The Cubs Convention is in town, which means tonight is the night you dorks congregate at Shitty O'Kea's. And that means I have to hide in my room with a pizza, a bottle of Jack, and a copy of Ass-Ass-In IV. Have fun, nerds. For those of you NOT going, you're even ... Read More

And to all a new Muskbag. It's tough coming up with content during the offseason, particularly when the only thing to talk about in regards to the Hot Stove is whether it would be cheaper to sign Mark Teixeira or build your own Mark Teixeira cyborg. If you try, make sure you don't monkey around by programming a ... Read More

Rumor has it (and thanks to Oleg for the tip) that the Cubs are about to sign former Devil Ray and former Kansas City Royal outfielder Joey Gathright. He's fast, and he can catch the ball, so the signing would make sense for, say, the Bears. But he can't hit. Like, at all. Unless you count ... Read More