Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Us the Dodgers Suck?” Edition
Miss me, jerks? Yeah, I bet you did. Crying in your beers for the past couple weeks saying, “Uncle Lou! Uncle Lou! What did we do to deserve this quick playoff exit?” I don’t have an answer for that, but if you’re going to force me to say something, I’ll [...]
Just When I Thought I Was Out, The Muskbag Pulls Me Back In.
You finally get a Godfather quote and it’s from Godfather III. How does THAT feel? Anyhow, I saw the Muskbag was back, and I couldn’t let that aggression go unchecked.
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Is the Regular Season Already Over?” Edition
First of all, thanks to TJ Brown for the picture. Secondly, holy crap. Is it really the end of September? It seems like just yesterday I was celebrating the birth of our country by firing explosives into the air and stuffing Lee Greenwood into a dumpster. Whaddya mean, “That WAS just [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Get Bent, Hillbillies” Edition
The Braves are rapidly rising up my list of teams I hate. Seriously? After the headhunting bullshit they’ve been pulling for the last two years Yunel Escobar is going to cry about getting plunked by a guy who throws an 87-m.p.h. fastball? I also noticed those Coca-Cola-loving assholes were awful quick to [...]
Cubs Sign Jesus Christ; Christ Gives Up Grand Slam to Lee
CHICAGO, Ill.–The Cubs took a drastic step in their struggle to get out Astros slugger Carlos Lee Wednesday morning. Cubs general manager Jim Hendry signed Jesus Christ to a three-day contract reportedly worth thirty pieces of silver. Christ wore the number 99, as his first four choices, 3, 7, 12, and 40, were [...]
Billy Beane is Not Infallible, Morons
If there was a downside to Jim Hendry’s masterful acquisition of Rich Harden and Chad Gaudin, it was the fact that the Billy Beane blowers came out in full force to defend the trade. I like Billy Beane. I think he’s one of the top five general managers in the MLB. He [...]
It’s Only Spring Training. It’s Only Spring Training.
INT.–JIM HENDRY’S OFFICE–DAY
Cubs manager LOU PINIELLA and general manager JIM HENDRY sit around a desk in Hendry’s office. Lou’s Cubs have just dropped another game to the Diamondbacks, their Lou breathes slowly into a paper bag as Jim throws pencils at the ceiling, trying to get them to stick.
Four More Years! Or at Least One!
Over on Desipio, CT (or CT II, as he is known over there) wrote the following post, entitled, “MacPhail’s final gift to Hendry.”
No, it’s not Brian Roberts (at least not yet).
No, it’s not a sweatervest and argyle socks.
Dolan mentioned in today’s Dose (or whatever the hell he’s calling them) that Lou Piniella was stumping [...]
Yo, Jim! I Got Your “Two Significant Moves” Right Here!
[Gestures toward balls]
Nah, I’m just messing with you, Jim. Lou has balls enough for the whole team. Really, though, I’m going to freak you out with this one. Forget Erik Bedard. Forget him. I figured out how you can end your offseason as the top team in the National League [...]
I Wish I Could Say It’s a Pleasure to Meet You
NOTE: Some of the comments have reminded me of additional things that Jim mentioned. Any additions I’ve made since about 12:30 a.m. are in bold.
When I woke up this morning, I had my opinion of Jim Hendry. I thought he was a man who loved three things: Krispy Kreme donuts, doing shots [...]
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