The Muskbox Returneth to the Relevance It’s Always Enjoyed
There’s no slumpbuster like a Muskbox slumpbuster. Thanks to the idiocy of people who read Cubs.com and the continued nightmare that is the 2010 edition of the Chicago Cubs, the Muskbox continues to shine. In this week’s Muskbox, a guy from Valparaiso asks about a player from Valparaiso, an Iowan is sick of watching Darwin [...]
NOW Can Tommy Boy Finally Evaluate Jim Hendry?
If there’s one sports radio refrain that annoys me, it’s, “Tom Ricketts is being SO SMART AND CAREFUL about his evaluation of Jim Hendry.” Bullshit. The Cubs are now halfway through their first season under Ricketts’ ownership. They’re 39-50, with the third-highest payroll in all of Major League Baseball. The only two more expensive teams [...]
Need More Bullets to Load into Your “Fire Jim Hendry” Gun?
Forget the fact that the Cubs have managed to score four runs in two games against one of the worst pitching staffs in the National League. Forget the fact that last night’s starter, Charlie Morton, dropped his ERA by 2.27 runs to 10.30 by pitching against your hapless Northsiders. Forget that John Grabow is getting [...]
The Muskbox Makes it Too Easy
I kid you not. The new Muskbox image was barely altered. Yes, there was a giant amount of white space where the HJE logo now sits. I like to imagine when Carrie saw it, she let out an exasperated sigh. Anyhow, I love it, I have adopted it, and I am embracing it. I completely [...]
So, Why the Hell Didn’t they Bench Soriano?
My brain is still reeling over yesterday’s decision to send Carlos Zambrano to the bullpen. Whether you love Zambrano (like Dolan) or don’t (like me), you’d be a total fucking idiot to like this idea. In the Zambrano post, paintersix (sorry to pick on you) said, “I think it’s a terrible idea but …..if it [...]
Jon Heyman is Sniffing Glue
Ted Lilly’s impending return to the Cubs has prompted two questions. “Which starter will get bumped from the rotation and into the bullpen?” and “How stupid will Jon Heyman’s suggestion regarding the first question be?” The answers are “either Tom Gorzelanny or Carlos Silva,” and “Stupider than Ryan Theriot trying to explain gravity.” In his [...]
The Muskbox Somehow Makes Tax Day Worse
It’s Tax Day, and I’m having a shitty one. What better time to turn my glower to this week’s Muskbox? None. None better time. Get your Tyler Colvin boners out, because they’re about to get a rubdown.
Friday Night Fukudome: Bullpen vs. Theriot
It’s early in the season, but it’s never too early to fire up the HATEWAGON. The Cub bullpen is, basically, split down the middle. GOOD: SeanBearPig Marshall, James Russell, Esmailin Caridad, Carlos Marmol GODAWFUL: John Grabow, Jeff Samardzija, Justin Berg They blew a late lead against the Braves the other night, and we won’t even [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “We Have 159 of These Left!?” Edition
Three games into the season, and the only guy in the starting lineup who doesn’t have a hit is our leadoff “hitter.” Do you hear those footsteps, Ryan Theriot? No, they’re not Starlin Castro’s. They’re mine. I’m running down the hallway to the clubhouse to kick your ass. Your Roundup tips are always read and [...]
A Double Shot of Muskbox
I didn’t get around to the Muskbox last week because of the emotional and mental toll from ripping Milton Bradley. I could- nay, should allow myself a break from the Muskbox madness. But that wouldn’t be fair to you. Instead, you get a double shot of Muskbox with a chaser of failure. And I die [...]
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