Uncle Mike’s Friday BROWSing: The “Getting Injured is Worse than Rape” Edition

Posted On 28 Jan 2011 By . Under: Cubs, Mike's Friday BROWSing.
Uncle Mike’s Friday BROWSing: The “Getting Injured is Worse than Rape” Edition From all the hullabaloo this week, one would think that Jay Cutler was a worse human being than that rapey Ben Roethlisberger or that puppy murdery Michael Vick. Oh, wait. People ARE saying that? (HT: Eli) I hate you, humankind. If you have tips about how awful people are that may compare to that one, ... Read More

Cancel the Internet. Some Idiot Managed to Compare Cutler to Bartman.

Posted On 24 Jan 2011 By . Under: Uncategorized.
Cancel the Internet. Some Idiot Managed to Compare Cutler to Bartman. I give credit to you, my lovely HJE readers, that you're not a part of the meatball culture in Chicago. I would like to think that during Sunday's NFC Championship, even if you were initially incensed that Jay Cutler was standing (the absolute NERVE) on the sidelines listening to what appeared to be Fallout Boy on his iPod, that ... Read More

The Muskbox Somehow Makes Tax Day Worse

Posted On 15 Apr 2010 By . Under: Broadcasters & Journalists, Cubs, Muskbox.
The Muskbox Somehow Makes Tax Day Worse It's Tax Day, and I'm having a shitty one. What better time to turn my glower to this week's Muskbox? None. None better time. Get your Tyler Colvin boners out, because they're about to get a rubdown. Why did the Cubs sign Marlon Byrd? To play center field. Next question, asshole. They have Tyler Colvin, who is big ... Read More

If You Don’t Believe in the Muskbox Hard Enough, It Will Die

Posted On 26 Aug 2009 By . Under: Broadcasters & Journalists, Cubs, Muskbox.
If You Don’t Believe in the Muskbox Hard Enough, It Will Die You can't make up the explanation for the return of the Muskbox. More than a few Cubs fans in Southern California said they missed the Inbox, and so did several e-mailers, so it's back. Well, thanks a LOT, California. You already gave us USC, horrible earthquakes, The Hills, and a cyborg governor who took the first major step for the machines ... Read More

When is it Safe to Change the Channel?

Posted On 11 Aug 2009 By . Under: Cubs.
When is it Safe to Change the Channel? Well, last night's game sucked. As did Sunday's. As did Friday's. There have been a lot of games this season which have been painful, boring, or flat-out terrible to watch. Last night, I had my fill of Cubs baseball by about the fifth inning. I noticed that Star Wars was on Spike TV, so I ... Read More

Friday Night Fukudome: Bradley vs. Cutler

Posted On 03 Apr 2009 By . Under: Cubs, Friday Night Fukudome, Spring Training.
Friday Night Fukudome: Bradley vs. Cutler First, congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks for clinching their first playoff appearance since 2002. Good luck, guys. As Jay Cutler Day in Chicago winds to a close, I'm reminded of the other newly-arrived stud Chicago athlete, Milton Bradley. Both guys are cocky, both are surly, and both are athletic freaks of nature. With that, let's put ... Read More

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Holy Crap, a Quarterback” Edition

Posted On 03 Apr 2009 By . Under: Cubs, Lou's Friday Roundup, Spring Training.
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Holy Crap, a Quarterback” Edition Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a Cubs blog. But yesterday, the Bears acquired Jay Cutler, arguably the best quarterback they've ever had. Who knew he was so jacked? And who knew a Google image search for "Jay Cutler" would yield such surprising results? Anyhow, Roundup time. Rick Morrissey is, of course, pissed about the best trade ... Read More