Hire Jim Essian

The joke is on me. I sat through that disaster of a game last night along with a bunch of other idiots. I don't want to relive the nightmare in my head, but I do want to know from you guys. Is this team better or worse than you expected? I think I said on Kaplan's ... Read More

Oh, how typical. The second I switch allegiances to the Twins, good things start happening to the Cubs. They go up to Milwaukee and absolutely annihilate the Brewers. Plus, a drunken Chad plummets to his near-death while trying to catch a batting practice foul ball, the rarest of rare foul balls. (HT: Grow Stubs Grow and ... Read More

My brain is still reeling over yesterday's decision to send Carlos Zambrano to the bullpen. Whether you love Zambrano (like Dolan) or don't (like me), you'd be a total fucking idiot to like this idea. In the Zambrano post, paintersix (sorry to pick on you) said, "I think it's a terrible idea but .....if it works were all ... Read More

Oh, happy day! Today is the first official day of the rest of your 2010 Cubs season. Why are we celebrating that? I don't know. Will this season be as difficult to watch as last season? Probably. Are our hopes at least down, meaning tickets will be easier to find? Hopefully. If ... Read More

I was a little worried about Carrie after last week's Muskbox. After all her talk about Milton Bradley, I assumed he had come to life and captured her, especially when we didn't see her at Kitty O'Shea's Friday night. But, sure enough, the Muskbox is too dumb to even realize it is mortal. Who will be the Cubs leadoff ... Read More

Since "everyone" on the "staff" at HJE has managed to achieve social perfection, "we" decided to (not really) ask for the New Year's resolutions of your favorite Cubs (including new Cub Marlon Byrd). And your least favorite Cubs. And some other people. Jim Hendry: Sign a player to a deal for fewer than three years that doesn't include ... Read More

In this week's Muskbox, we learn that Cubs fans still don't understand how trades work, someone actually likes Aaron Heilman, and there is a person outside the Harry Potter universe named "Mordy." Is there a possibility Ryne Sandberg could be the Cubs' hitting coach next year? If not, could Sandberg be the manager of the Triple-A Iowa Cubs? Either position should ... Read More

Well, I imagine if it doesn't happen today, it's going to happen at some point this weekend. Since the Fall of 2006, the birth of HJE, the Cubs had never failed to make the postseason. Presumably that's about to change, disproving my theory that HJE is magic. In a tradition started (and shelved) after the 2006 season, ... Read More

You can't make up the explanation for the return of the Muskbox. More than a few Cubs fans in Southern California said they missed the Inbox, and so did several e-mailers, so it's back. Well, thanks a LOT, California. You already gave us USC, horrible earthquakes, The Hills, and a cyborg governor who took the first major step for the machines ... Read More

Okay, it's reality-check time. Even if the Cardinals go one game under .500 for the rest of the way, they'll finish 88-74. For the Cubs to reach 88 wins, they'll have to go 28-17, a .622 winning percentage. Unlikely, since they're playing .513 baseball this year and are in danger of getting swept by a terrible 51-70 ... Read More