Only one player in my lifetime made the top ten of both the B126 and the T79. That player sort of reminds me of Cousin Larry. Or William Katt. His name is Jeff Blauser. And the reason he even had a chance to hit his way up the B126 is because he is #3 on the list of The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time. The only thing that could have made Blauser more obnoxious is if he were a Cardinal. And he almost was.
When Bobby Abreu first became an MLB superstar, everyone said, “Hey, this guy hits like Sammy Sosa, except he draws walks and doesn’t seem like as big an asshole! And, hey, he sort of looks exactly like a rounder Sammy Sosa! I wonder if he does steroids, too!” Perhaps, everyone. Perhaps. At least if you were a Cubs fans, it certainly APPEARED that Abreu did steroids. He was a tormentor of Cub pitching, and he slugged his way to #17 on the Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time.
Ed. Note: When I’m long gone from this world and tales are told of what I did to make a difference in this life, no one will have an answer that doesn’t, at some point, use the phrase “dick joke.” Whether I leave a legacy in the expanding world of penis jokes or not, though, […]