Hire Jim Essian

Earlier this week, Ernie Banks urged Sammy Sosa to come clean about his use of performance-enhancing drugs. Rather than take the advice of the Cub Hall of Famer, Sosa instead urged Banks to reveal that he is moonlighting as annoying, self-appointed Cub mascot, Ronnie "Woo Woo" Wickers. The evidence, according to Sosa, is overwhelming. "Have you ever seen Ronnie ... Read More

Before I forget, Kermit wanted me to let you all know that we've already filled two divisions of Neifiball, and are looking for eight more players to fill a third. If we fill a third, we'll add a fourth. If you're interested in playing, e-mail Kermit HERE and write "NEIFIBALL" in the header. Second, how about the ... Read More

On my way home from work tonight, the lovely J-Kerm called me to ask if I wanted to go out to dinner at a local Naperville establishment. J-Kerm, who has a sudden affinity for signing us up for every single e-mail club on the planet, had a coupon for a free entree that expires tomorrow. So off we ... Read More

And to all a new Muskbag. It's tough coming up with content during the offseason, particularly when the only thing to talk about in regards to the Hot Stove is whether it would be cheaper to sign Mark Teixeira or build your own Mark Teixeira cyborg. If you try, make sure you don't monkey around by programming a ... Read More

You finally get a Godfather quote and it's from Godfather III. How does THAT feel? Anyhow, I saw the Muskbag was back, and I couldn't let that aggression go unchecked. I noticed that Ryan Dempster is eligible to become a free agent this offseason. Are the Cubs going to re-sign him? Who else is eligible for free agency? -- Steve ... Read More

You know, if J-Kerm ever decides to leave me, I suspect it's going to be for Eddie Vedder. She called me today, excited to the point of being--dare I say--breathless. I had heard Eddie Vedder's "Someday We'll Go All the Way" a while ago, but completely forgot to post about it. Well, J-Kerm had just heard it ... Read More