Hire Jim Essian

It looks like Al Yellon isn't the only one baffled by everything that has to do with the corporate world. "THESE CUBICLES ARE MAZES OF MYSTERY AND INTRIGUE!!!" Some other dope in this week's Muskbox can't fathom how there can be a president AND a general manager. IT'S AS THOUGH THEY ARE TRYING TO DIVIDE THE LABOR ... Read More

There is a very real and sad possibility that last week's Muskbox may be the last one of the season. Meaning they will certainly address those last remaining questions you have about the Cubs. All of the important stuff, like HOW DID THE CUBS FARE WITH RUNNERS IN SCORING POSITION IN 2000??? The Muskbox is nothing if ... Read More

The only reason to watch the Cubs for the remainder of the season is to watch Starlin Castro hopefully erase Juan Pierre from any bit of Cub trivia. Before the end of the season, when anyone asks you, "Hey, who was the last Cub to collect 200 hits in a season?" you will no longer have to answer, "Juan ... Read More

I kid you not. The new Muskbox image was barely altered. Yes, there was a giant amount of white space where the HJE logo now sits. I like to imagine when Carrie saw it, she let out an exasperated sigh. Anyhow, I love it, I have adopted it, and I am embracing it. I completely ... Read More

I was a little worried about Carrie after last week's Muskbox. After all her talk about Milton Bradley, I assumed he had come to life and captured her, especially when we didn't see her at Kitty O'Shea's Friday night. But, sure enough, the Muskbox is too dumb to even realize it is mortal. Who will be the Cubs leadoff ... Read More

We left the Muskbox in 2009 plantnapping and murdering ivy, and eating a Podsednik sandwich at Edmonds' restaurant. This week, we discuss today's starting lineup, try to trade Carlos Zambrano, and ask a payroll question that barely qualifies as a question. Into the Muskboxing ring we go! I heard a rumor that the Yankees have inquired about Big Z. ... Read More

You know that old adage, "If you can't laugh at yourself, then you suck"? I have to give credit to Carrie for not sucking today. (HT: James) Good one, Carrie. We're one step closing to you fisking one of the Muskboxes, and then I'll have to fisk that, and we'll just keep passing the same article ... Read More

Maybe the switch from the Muskbag to the Muskbox fried Carrie's brain, because she has apparently forgotten that "question, THEN answer" format upon which she so heavily relied in the past. First of all, she put a video in this week's Muskbox, instead of a picture. So, instead, I had to find a picture of this old guy ... Read More

This week's Muskbox answers those questions you've been dying to ask all offseason. Such as who is going to take over the Cubs' blogging duties now that THE PULSE is in Cleveland. Seriously. That's one of the best questions that was asked. Just watch: How closely is the performance of the players participating in the World Baseball ... Read More

EDIT: It's come to my attention from my good friend PAUL SULLIVAN (through Dolan) that Carrie Muskat's father recently passed away. I know I have my fun at Carrie's expense on a weekly basis, but mine and I hope your thoughts and prayers are with the Muskat family in their time of grief. Oh, hey, I forgot to say ... Read More