Hire Jim Essian

Was all of Dwight Gooden's 16-season MLB career reality, or was it just a figment of the imagination in the drug-addled mind of a user? No, it was reality. A reality that Cubs fans would just as soon forget. He grew up in a Tampa, Florida town, had a good-looking mama, and a papa who was around. ... Read More

No, Kevin Mitchell was not listed in baseball's infamous Mitchell Report. He probably wasn't on steroids. But he was an oversized left fielder for the San Francisco Giants who was so bad in the outfield that the greatest play he ever made involved him taking a horrible route to the ball and overrunning it by several feet. ... Read More

So help me God, for my entire childhood I thought Lenny Dykstra had no teeth. The guy's mouth was blacker than a kid with braces eating Oreos. I did know one thing, though. I knew that every time "Nails" came up against the Cubs, he was going to be a huge pain in the ass for whichever ... Read More

This five-foot-eleven-inch, former third baseman is spacious, bright, and cheery. With convenient locations in Detroit, New York, Colorado, and Chicago, there is always availability at #62 on The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time. Be impressed with the .257/.343/.518 line put up against the Cubs by Howard Johnson throughout his fourteen-year career. Howard Johnson also offers five-star accommodations, ... Read More