Hire Jim Essian

If you were looking for an early Christmas present, you just found it. Ryan Theriot will take his invisible racecar to St. Louis, where he will likely be driving it drunk. This is the best thing that has happened to Cubs fans since the Reds hired Dusty Baker. The Cardinals just slipped from second place in the ... Read More

They're trying to steal Lou, and they just nabbed Larry Rothschild. Rothschild takes an undeserved beating from a lot of Cubs fans, presumably because of Dusty Baker's reign of career-destroying terror. The fact is, Rothschild is a hell of a pitching coach. Get the dreams of Greg Maddux as pitching coach out of your head right now. As ... Read More

If Mike Quade wanted to endear himself to Cubs fans, perhaps he should have avoided using the same unoriginal rallying cry that the infuriating Dusty Baker used during the 2003 season. "Why not us?" asked Quade at his introductory press conference. Well, Mike, I think I can take a crack at that. You don't have a first ... Read More

I don't know if it's intentional or not, but I think Carrie is trying to hide the Muskbox from me. It's come out on Thursdays the past few times. You know the Weekly BROWSing happens on Friday, Carrie, you clever minx. Conspiracies aside, This week's Muskbox sics the DEA on Jim Hendry and Ryne Sandberg, continues Starling Castro's NL ... Read More

You probably weren't watching, but the Cubs just completed a three-game sweep of the Cardinals at Busch Stadium II. The Cubs hadn't swept the Cardinals in St. Louis in the last twelve seasons. The late-season dramatic pennant race against the Cardinals reminds me of 2003 when the Cubs took four of five (and should have taken all five) ... Read More

Well, here we are. Forty-seven games left. Each one of them more depressing than the last. Why do we go on? For the potential glory of finishing in fourth place with the highest payroll in one of the worst divisions in the National League. THAT'S WHY! Your Roundup tips are like vodka at a ... Read More

In a move which will almost certainly pave the way for the Ryne Sandberg Era, Lou Piniella announced today that he will retire after this season. Selfishly, I am less devastated about losing one of the most-successful managers in Cub history than I am about the death of Sweet Uncle Lou's Friday Roundup. DAMN YOU, PINIELLA!!! Anyhow, Lou's current .531 winning ... Read More

The image to your right is just one of the many amazing/infuriating ones you'll find among these 10 years of Ronnie Woo photographs. (HT: Luis) The pictures reveal the answers to so many mysteries. Did you know Ronnie has a daughter? Did you know he's never been sober? Did you know he likes to chase ... Read More

If there's one thing that's absolutely infuriating about the Cubs, it's their mystifying inability to hit left-handed pitching. No, scratch that. If there's one thing that's absolutely infuriating about the Cubs, it's their 102-year championship drought. Number two is the other thing with the left-handers. A couple of offseasons ago, when Jim Hendry decided to make ... Read More

Where were you on March 9, 2007? Were you still celebrating the non-firing "firing" of Dusty Baker and the hiring of Lou Piniella? Were you toasting Juan Pierre's departure from the North Side of Chicago? Were you excited about the budding friendship between pitcher Carlos Zambrano and catcher Michael Barrett? The acquisitions of Alfonso Soriano and ... Read More