Derrek Lee

The Best Bad Cubs Team of My Time: SP Glendon Rusch 4

Glendon Rusch may not be the worst overall player on this roster, but when he was signed by the Cubs prior to the 2004 season, he was certainly coming off the worst season of any of the guys on the roster so far. His 2003 season in Milwaukee was nothing short of atrocious, and Cubs fans had no reason to expect that Rusch wouldn’t be the main reason for the collapse of the 2004 season. Rusch, contrary to all of our expections, had the best year of his career in 2004. The fact that he was not an asshole on a team more full of them than r/gonewild made him even more likable. So he becomes the fourth member of the starting rotation on the Best Bad Cubs Team of My Time.

Catch the mist.  Catch the myth.  Catch the mystery.  Catch a whiff.  Seriously.  Look at that gut.

Friday Roundup: The “I Don’t Know How to Use the Internet” Edition 1

Why is the Roundup so late? Because of a horrible, horrible thing that has come to pass. It’s with a sadness in my heart that I report that Google is discontinuing Google Reader. Since HJE has existed, Reader has been the way I do the Roundup. For years, it was the easiest way to pull articles from all the terrible websites I read. Including this one. It was a quick (or exhausting) break from work. Now, I find myself forced to move over to Feedly. Which is…ehhhh. I’m sure Reader will pop up on Google+ anyhow. Which, by the way, is such a refreshingly clean social network. Probably because none of my friends ever post anything on it. Oh, well.

The Muskbox Is an Equal-Hand Opportunity Employer 3

Growing up as a pure left-handed baseball player, my options on the field were limited. I was primarily a first baseman, though I did have my fair share of opportunities in the outfield and one ill-advised stint behind home plate (Why do they even SELL left-handed catcher’s mitts?). I’ve come to accept the fact that there are really only five positions on a baseball diamond for left-handers. The latest Muskbox has not yet accepted the same fact. Even more amazingly, someone finally asks a good question, and it’s followed up with NO ANSWER. Muskbox, away!

The Muskbox is Not Quite Dead Yet 4

Despite appearances, I’m not letting HJE die a slow death. In fact, I’m working on another facelift for the old girl, which will probably take longer than the T79. Also, there may be a return of a beloved feature on the horizon. No, not the Shoutbox. I haven’t gotten around to that yet. In this latest episode of Muskbox, the fans lament Bryan LaHair’s lack of at-bats (DAFUQ?) and wonder what might have been for the Peoria Chiefs if Albert Pujols were still playing there. Yup.

The 2011 Cubs Season in Review. Horrible, Horrible Review. 9

The 2011 season ground to a merciful halt yesterday. In a beautiful display of symmetry, it ended much the same way it started, with Ryan Dempster walking everyone in the park, serving up a grand slam, and losing to a shitty team. In case you missed the past six months […]

Is This the Last Muskbox of the Season? ONLY THE BUN KNOWS FOR SURE. 4

There is a very real and sad possibility that last week’s Muskbox may be the last one of the season. Meaning they will certainly address those last remaining questions you have about the Cubs. All of the important stuff, like HOW DID THE CUBS FARE WITH RUNNERS IN SCORING POSITION […]

The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #29: Preston “Wears T-Shirts…Sometimes” Wilson 2

Surely, you remember Preston Wilson. His hair was kinda- I don’t know- brown. Well, not really brown. Oh, he’s tall. Yeah. Kinda- kinda tall. Sorta tall. And he’s always wearing- like- t-shirts. I mean, he’s Preston. PRESTON. You know? Preston. Press-TONE! And he’s the 29th biggest Cub killer of my […]

Friday Night Fukudome: Lee vs. Ramirez 4

Well, it’s still Jim Hendry day, and old Jim made a few good moves during his time. No question, however, the two best moves he made were (1) trading Bobby Hill, Matt (hee hee!) Bruback, and Jose Hernandez to the Pittsburgh Pirates for Aramis Ramirez and Kenny Lofton; and (2) […]

The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #36: Billy “Goat” Wagner

Billy Wagner has had a very long, very successful MLB career. Wagner was half of a lethal back end of a Houston Astros bullpen in the early ’00s. Wagner saved games behind setup man Octavio Dotel. He’s saved quite a few of them in his sixteen seasons. 422, to be […]

The only thing this mask cannot my love.

The Muskbox FINALLY Addresses All of Your Burning Questions About…Scott Moore 3

Of all the obscure former Cubs who were once traded for Kyle Farnsworth and Steve Trachsel, and who you didn’t even realize were reacquired by the Cubs, Scott Moore is that specific one. And he’s actually the subject of a question in this week’s Muskbox. Scott. Moore. I’m stunned the […]