Hire Jim Essian

Before we dive knuckles-first into this week's Muskbox, it's my duty to point out that tickets to tonight's compelling Cubs-Reds matchup are currently selling for ONE DOLLAR AND FORTY-EIGHT CENTS on StubHub. (HT: Ned Ryerson) If you've been waiting to see Rodrigo Lopez pitch, NOW IS YOUR CHANCE. SIDE NOTE: Anyone need two tickets for tonight's game? Face ... Read More

This week's Muskbox sadly came out just before Ryan Theriot was traded to the Cardinals, natural enemies of the Cub. But that's okay. I suspect that next week's Muskbox is going to be absolutely epic in its garment-rending. But fisking duty calls. Marlon Byrd was awesome in center field this year. Did he get any votes for a ... Read More

If you're a Yankee-hater, your time may have finally come. Both Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera have just recently watched the Yankees throw stupid amounts of money at C.C. Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, and Mark Teixeira. Now, it's time for arguably the Yankees' most valuable player in the past fifteen years, and certainly their most overrated to get paid. ... Read More

If you didn't know who Dave Niehaus was, that's because nobody really cares about anything that comes out of Seattle. But Niehaus was a Mariner staple, and one of the better broadcasters in the game. He died, too young, at the age of 75 this week. Rest in peace, Dave. Sometimes, when the darkness comes, I ... Read More

When last we left the Muskbox, it was pining over Ryan Theriot, praising Rudy Jaramillo, discussing the Unfrozen Caveman Outfielder, and blocking out billboards with her icy gaze. I'm pretty sure this week's installment, on the other hand, is a subtle personals ad. Read on! With Ted Lilly having surgery and a question mark on the Cubs' No. 5 ... Read More

You know me. I can't resist a good (or terrible) meme. Thanks, as always, for all the great links. The Roundup took forever because of all of them (which is a good thing). Keep 'em coming. Lots to get to, so enjoy wasting the rest of your Friday with this week's Roundup. In case you missed ... Read More

Kermit told me to hits-whore in this week's Roundup, so that's exactly what I'm going to do, you tentacle-porn-loving perverts. Asian vagina. Anyhow, sorry I missed the Roundup last week. I was busy fisting the keyboard cat in Tehran. The good news is that you get a lot more Lou to go around this Friday, and ... Read More

I haven't watched much of the World Baseball Classic, but I did watch most of the game last night between the United States and Japan. Why exactly was Davey Johnson responsible for bringing pride back to United States baseball? Team USA played like crap for most of the game, but Johnson certainly didn't put them in a position ... Read More