Hire Jim Essian

I have an inescapable, unexplained disdain for Randy Wells. It's a powerful force that has survived both his bad years and his good. Wells strikes me as a less-talented Matt Clement. He has that Clement manner of looking over his shoulder at the bullpen whenever the going gets rough. He's a converted catcher, meaning he was an absolute failure at the plate. He's also a Rule 5 draft guy, and the track record of those guys is, with a few notable exceptions, overwhelmingly bad. HE'S ALL THE BEST PARTS OF MATT CLEMENT, RAFAEL DOLIS, AND DAVID PATTON! So, when Pre told me this morning that the Cubs may be actively shopping Wells, I was excited.

Well, I'm back, like it or not. The trip was outstanding, THANKS A LOT FOR ASKING. Rather than spending fourteen hours powering through thousands of unread feeds, I wiped my feed reader as soon as I got back in town. If there was a Muskbox in there, it is lost to the ages. There was, however, ... Read More

Carrie is getting wilier as the eternal struggle between HJE and the Inbox rages on. Her latest ploy was to move the Muskbox to Thursday night. The only explanation that can possibly be is that she knows that Sweet Uncle Lou owns Friday's at HJE. But fear not. For every one of Carrie's thrusts, I have ... Read More

I didn't get around to the Muskbox last week because of the emotional and mental toll from ripping Milton Bradley. I could- nay, should allow myself a break from the Muskbox madness. But that wouldn't be fair to you. Instead, you get a double shot of Muskbox with a chaser of failure. And I die on ... Read More

Has any player ever gotten more mileage out of a single catch than Sam Fuld has? I've heard Cubs fans speak less respectfully of Wilie Mays' catch. Sam Fuld strives to be David Eckstein, only in a less-useful position. However, since Jim Hendry decided to spend $34M on an outfield of platoon players, each week we have ... Read More

With each passing day that doesn't end with Kevin Millar getting sewn into a burlap sack and tossed into a reservoir, I get more and more nervous that he is going to end up making this team. There is absolutely no logical reason for this. Millar is terrible, he is offensive to at least four of my senses, ... Read More

Since "everyone" on the "staff" at HJE has managed to achieve social perfection, "we" decided to (not really) ask for the New Year's resolutions of your favorite Cubs (including new Cub Marlon Byrd). And your least favorite Cubs. And some other people. Jim Hendry: Sign a player to a deal for fewer than three years that doesn't include ... Read More

You can't make up the explanation for the return of the Muskbox. More than a few Cubs fans in Southern California said they missed the Inbox, and so did several e-mailers, so it's back. Well, thanks a LOT, California. You already gave us USC, horrible earthquakes, The Hills, and a cyborg governor who took the first major step for the machines ... Read More

Originally, the title of this Roundup was going to be something about Geovany Soto having the munchies. But then Soto was upstaged by the death of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. So, instead, it's time for a tribute song. As always, tips, hints, and suggestions for the Roundup are welcome. Beat Us, sung to the tune of ... Read More

Take THAT, English language! After a three-week hiatus, the Muskbox is back! One forgets how much one truly loves the Muskbox until one goes three weeks without one. And then, when one is one question into said Muskbox, one recalls why one enjoyed the three-week respite from it. One. I've always been a Reed Johnson fan from ... Read More