Hire Jim Essian

If there's one sports radio refrain that annoys me, it's, "Tom Ricketts is being SO SMART AND CAREFUL about his evaluation of Jim Hendry." Bullshit. The Cubs are now halfway through their first season under Ricketts' ownership. They're 39-50, with the third-highest payroll in all of Major League Baseball. The only two more expensive teams are ... Read More

Carrie is getting wilier as the eternal struggle between HJE and the Inbox rages on. Her latest ploy was to move the Muskbox to Thursday night. The only explanation that can possibly be is that she knows that Sweet Uncle Lou owns Friday's at HJE. But fear not. For every one of Carrie's thrusts, I have ... Read More

Where were you on March 9, 2007? Were you still celebrating the non-firing "firing" of Dusty Baker and the hiring of Lou Piniella? Were you toasting Juan Pierre's departure from the North Side of Chicago? Were you excited about the budding friendship between pitcher Carlos Zambrano and catcher Michael Barrett? The acquisitions of Alfonso Soriano and ... Read More

Another week, and as far as I know, no one in the clubhouse has swine flu. Just to avoid a scare, we've started calling "flu-like symptoms" what they really are: hangovers. That said, I'm day-to-day this weekend from "hangover." But I'll muscle up and give you your precious Roundup, because I'd hate for you to do work ... Read More

Last week, the Muskbox came out on Thursday, presumably because Carrie knows that Fridays at HJE are Sweet Uncle Lou's time to shine. But you can't hide the Muskbox from me, Carrie. Especially since it's so stupid, it emits an odor. So, here we go. Now that Jeff Samardzija has been sent to Triple-A Iowa, will he work ... Read More

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know your Friday mornings are oh-so-bright thanks to the Roundup, and I'm late. Why don't you cry about it? That will make everything okay. Here's your Roundup: Paul Bako's hot spring has made us ever so torn about who should be the backup catcher. Do we take the guy who plays like all ... Read More

Barry Bonds' trial might feel like old news, because technically he hasn't been found guilty yet. But it's only a matter of time, right? I mean, the evidence shows that he's tested positive for three different types of steroids and that his personal trainer shot him up with them. He said he never knowingly used steroids in ... Read More

This week's Muskbag somehow manages to revisit Rich Hill. No one revisits Rich Hill. Rich Hill isn't even going to have visitors at his house for Thanksgiving. But the Muskbag has all the Rich Hill coverage you could possibly want. I've been hearing that the Cubs are trying to shop Kosuke Fukudome. I'm not sure why they're trying ... Read More

I was hoping Bacon and Fries would run on the same ticket. The same delicious ticket. Thanks to Holy Taco for the picture. Anyhow, it's Roundup time: Bud Selig is a cockbag, and I hope Mark Cuban sues him and the courts threaten to take away Major League Baseball's antitrust exemption. I'm actually for coin flips deciding the playoffs, ... Read More

There's nothing quite like armchair G.M.s to get you fired up for the Winter Meetings. In this week's Muskbag, a bunch of Cubs fans and Carrie Muskat play G.M. and do what they can to ruin the Cubs. As an added bonus, a commenter LOSES HIS MIND. Looking at the stats, Lee's power numbers and run production are declining. ... Read More