Hire Jim Essian

If you haven't finished your Christmas shopping, and you know some Cubs fans, and you HATE them more than anyone who lives on this earth, then the Cubs have just the thing for you! This Friday at 10:00 a.m., the Cubs are offering four-game "Holiday Packs." As has become a bit of a tradition around here, let's take a look at your options!

It looks like Al Yellon isn't the only one baffled by everything that has to do with the corporate world. "THESE CUBICLES ARE MAZES OF MYSTERY AND INTRIGUE!!!" Some other dope in this week's Muskbox can't fathom how there can be a president AND a general manager. IT'S AS THOUGH THEY ARE TRYING TO DIVIDE THE LABOR ... Read More

At long last, Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer are officially official, and you can stop worrying that the Cubs would discover some way to screw up their hiring. The MLB can also stop worrying that the "contentious negotiations" between the Cubs and the Red Sox was distracting everyone from watching the World Series. This is how stupid Bud ... Read More

Steve Rosenbloom must be amazing at covering poker, because he's comically bad at covering every other "sport." The man who doesn't own a collared shirt is at it again, implying that the Theo Epstein hire is "so Cub" for all the wrong reasons! (HT: Jim) That is "so Rosenbloom." Rosey gets fisked gently below. This seems like the perfect ... Read More

I haven't had the opportunity to watch Catching Hell, the horrible documentary on Steve Bartman. I feel obligated to do so, despite the fact that I've seen the infamous play more times than I've seen The Big Lebowski. Which is to say, a lot of times. Bartman has been through a lot, which is why it was ... Read More

The 2011 season ground to a merciful halt yesterday. In a beautiful display of symmetry, it ended much the same way it started, with Ryan Dempster walking everyone in the park, serving up a grand slam, and losing to a shitty team. In case you missed the past six months of baseball, the Cubs didn't make the playoffs ... Read More

Another week brings the dawn of another Muskbox. All things are relevant to the Muskbox, even those things that go unanswered. Which is most things. But you have to keep TRYING, you know? Most of what I have been reading says the Cubs will not pick up Aramis Ramirez's club option and instead pay him the $2 million ... Read More

So, Dolan and Kermit start a new blog and don't invite me and Skip? FUCK. YOU. GUYS. The rest of you know where to find the only GOOD writers in the baseball blogosphere. Right here. At HJE. And those writers are me and Skip. Don't send your Roundup tips to Fisting Fouls, ... Read More

Ed. Note: Mike D. wrote this prior to Millar's glorious departure from the 2010 Cubs, but I just got around to posting it. Mike D. thinks it might be moot, but I say there's no worse crime against humanity than wasting a perfectly good Mike D. rant. Enjoy. Some of you may have noticed that I haven�t contributed ... Read More

So, wait, you Catholics are forced to eat meat now, right? Or you have do drink blood, or something? Well, whatever you have to do, have fun doing it. Mike D. sent me this picture of our cars getting dropped off at Wrigley. I'm not sure why they needed a truck. They should have just ... Read More