Hire Jim Essian

Because Tony Womack was the starting shortstop on the World Champion 2001 Diamondbacks, it's sometimes easy to forget how terrible he actually was in his 13 seasons as a Major League Baseball player. It's probably far easier to forget how terrible he was if you're a Cubs fan. After all, when Womack wasn't busy killing the Cubs from ... Read More

Maybe I'm just annoyed with how the weekend series has gone so far. Maybe it's because it seems like Todd Helton hits .800 against the Cubs. Maybe it's because such piles of shit as Neifi Perez, Aaron Miles, Shawn Estes, and Dusty Baker have associations with NL West teams. Maybe it's because of the outcome of the ... Read More

First of all, I have HUGE NEWS! Jim acquired Jeff Baker from the Rockies! I guess that's only huge if you assume the Aaron Miles era is over. I'm not completely convinced that it is. Anyhow, since most of you won't be working tomorrow (meaning we probably won't post tomorrow), you get your weekly Roundup a ... Read More

Take THAT, English language! After a three-week hiatus, the Muskbox is back! One forgets how much one truly loves the Muskbox until one goes three weeks without one. And then, when one is one question into said Muskbox, one recalls why one enjoyed the three-week respite from it. One. I've always been a Reed Johnson fan from ... Read More

I've been at some strange Cubs games in my life. I was at the game in 2000 against the Dodgers when some enterprising Cubs fan nearly incited a riot by swiping the hat off the head of Chad Kreuter while Kreuter was seated in the Dodger bullpen. I was at the game against the Rockies in 2001 when ... Read More

Last week, the Muskbox came out on Thursday, presumably because Carrie knows that Fridays at HJE are Sweet Uncle Lou's time to shine. But you can't hide the Muskbox from me, Carrie. Especially since it's so stupid, it emits an odor. So, here we go. Now that Jeff Samardzija has been sent to Triple-A Iowa, will he work ... Read More

Barry Bonds' trial might feel like old news, because technically he hasn't been found guilty yet. But it's only a matter of time, right? I mean, the evidence shows that he's tested positive for three different types of steroids and that his personal trainer shot him up with them. He said he never knowingly used steroids in ... Read More

Jim Hendry has been suddenly busy this offseason, as today he finally shipped Jason Marquis to the Colorado Rockies for Luis Vizcaino (thanks to Jon for the tip). There's no link, but the Cubs e-mailed out a press release. Vizcaino is crap, and the Cubs have plenty of starters, so this is a salary dump. But that's ... Read More

The Colorado Rockies are talking seriously with the Cubs about a deal that would send Jason Marquis to the Rockies and Luis Vizcaino to the Cubs. I'll give you a minute to wipe the coffee off your monitor. Ready? Let's move on. Vizcaino is not good, and he's a drunk. What does he have going ... Read More

There aren't a whole lot of things you can say about Greg Maddux which Kermit didn't already say. But this Roundup is going to be dedicated to the Ph.D. of pitchers, anyhow. Thanks for all of the memories, Greg. Here's the Roundup: If HJE hasn't done a good enough job professing our man love for Maddux, is it ... Read More