Hire Jim Essian

Sometimes, the biggest Cub Killers of my time aren't all about the statistics. Sometimes, they're more about the timing of their hits than the number or distance of those hits. Sometimes, there was just an opponent that any rational Cubs fan did NOT want to see at the plate or on the mound in a crucial situation. ... Read More

You know how Jim Hendry goes through phases every offseason? A couple of seasons in a row, he would only sign the "top" reliever on the market. And for a couple of seasons he would only sign left-handed hitters. And then there was that season he only signed sociopaths. Or when he would only sign guys ... Read More

This week's Muskbox sadly came out just before Ryan Theriot was traded to the Cardinals, natural enemies of the Cub. But that's okay. I suspect that next week's Muskbox is going to be absolutely epic in its garment-rending. But fisking duty calls. Marlon Byrd was awesome in center field this year. Did he get any votes for a ... Read More

If you were looking for an early Christmas present, you just found it. Ryan Theriot will take his invisible racecar to St. Louis, where he will likely be driving it drunk. This is the best thing that has happened to Cubs fans since the Reds hired Dusty Baker. The Cardinals just slipped from second place in the ... Read More

I hate to have to break this to you via the Fukudome, but it appears that the Cubs may very well be out of the NL Central race. The Central has become a two-team race with two of your least-favorite managers managing two of the reddest rosters in baseball. COMMIES. It's time to get your rooting interest ... Read More

As promised, last night Lou Piniella shuffled his lineup against left-handed pitcher Jonathon Niese. Marlon Byrd led off, and scrappy shortstop Ryan Theriot batted eighth. If the Cubs are going to continue to insist that Theriot is a Major League Baseball player, the eighth spot is where he belongs. Except on days when Carlos Zambrano is pitching. ... Read More

It's been a while since I tried my hand at live blogging, but I'm in the mood for it tonight. Since this is HJE I'm not going to live blog the Cubs-Reds game tonight. That would be far too easy. No, as the guys at TMS mentioned before they got into a tickle fight over Milton Bradley, ... Read More

The Cubs are in Cincinnati to take on Dusty Baker's Reds, which always reminds me how glad I am that they are not "Dusty Baker's Cubs." The two managers prior to Lou Piniella were back-to-back dumbasses. So, let's put them in the Fukudome. VS. Dusty Baker Don Baylor ... Read More

I've been at some strange Cubs games in my life. I was at the game in 2000 against the Dodgers when some enterprising Cubs fan nearly incited a riot by swiping the hat off the head of Chad Kreuter while Kreuter was seated in the Dodger bullpen. I was at the game against the Rockies in 2001 when ... Read More

Last week, the Muskbox came out on Thursday, presumably because Carrie knows that Fridays at HJE are Sweet Uncle Lou's time to shine. But you can't hide the Muskbox from me, Carrie. Especially since it's so stupid, it emits an odor. So, here we go. Now that Jeff Samardzija has been sent to Triple-A Iowa, will he work ... Read More