Hire Jim Essian

You know me. I can't resist a good (or terrible) meme. Thanks, as always, for all the great links. The Roundup took forever because of all of them (which is a good thing). Keep 'em coming. Lots to get to, so enjoy wasting the rest of your Friday with this week's Roundup. In case you missed ... Read More

Another week, and as far as I know, no one in the clubhouse has swine flu. Just to avoid a scare, we've started calling "flu-like symptoms" what they really are: hangovers. That said, I'm day-to-day this weekend from "hangover." But I'll muscle up and give you your precious Roundup, because I'd hate for you to do work ... Read More

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a Cubs blog. But yesterday, the Bears acquired Jay Cutler, arguably the best quarterback they've ever had. Who knew he was so jacked? And who knew a Google image search for "Jay Cutler" would yield such surprising results? Anyhow, Roundup time. Rick Morrissey is, of course, pissed about the best trade ... Read More

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know your Friday mornings are oh-so-bright thanks to the Roundup, and I'm late. Why don't you cry about it? That will make everything okay. Here's your Roundup: Paul Bako's hot spring has made us ever so torn about who should be the backup catcher. Do we take the guy who plays like all ... Read More

I was hoping Bacon and Fries would run on the same ticket. The same delicious ticket. Thanks to Holy Taco for the picture. Anyhow, it's Roundup time: Bud Selig is a cockbag, and I hope Mark Cuban sues him and the courts threaten to take away Major League Baseball's antitrust exemption. I'm actually for coin flips deciding the playoffs, ... Read More

My initial reaction to Monday night's postponement of Game Five of the World Series in Philadelphia was not to blame Bud Selig. I understand that four people flew up from Tampa to see Game Five. I understand that Joe Buck had already gone through the trouble of having his chin hole drilled out and cleaned. I understand ... Read More

I know your thoughts have already turned toward tomorrow night's early evening's late afternoon's NLDS showdown between the Dodgers and the Cubs, but please permit me a brief rant about Bud Selig's idiocy. I believe it was Sunday when I was listening to Pat and Ron on the radio, and Pat mentioned that on Saturday an unusual play had ... Read More

Kermit is going out of town tonight and staying out of town until Monday, so the whole HJE gang is allowed take a breather if they want to. I can't speak for Mike D., but I'm going to take advantage of it. But I wouldn't dare leave you idiots without anything to read this week, so I'm doing ... Read More

Okay, what the hell was that? Other than the first game of the four-game set with the Brewers, that series was easier than convincing Stevie Eyre to take just one more bite. Remember how the Brewers fans and even most of the writers in Chicago were saying we'd be "lucky" to get out of Milwaukee with our one-game ... Read More

Yes, I know the All-Star Game was two days ago. At least it started two days ago. But the more I think about the game, the more annoyed I am. Not because the National League lost. Not because it took longer than a Steve Trachsel start. Not because Dan Uggla played second base like he ... Read More