Hire Jim Essian

At the Mathematical Elimination Party this Saturday, one of my friends told me she was rooting for the Cardinals to win the World Series. "Why the hell would you do that?" I asked. "Because you have to root for the NL Central when your team gets eliminated," she replied. "Why the hell would I do that?" I ... Read More

After a loooooong hiatus, the Muskbox has finally returned to half-answer all of your dumbest questions about the Cubs! The Muskbox is one of the few things that keeps me going during the offseason, so here's hoping that this is the first in a streak of many successful and hilarious fall and winter Muskboxes. CARRIE: It's been tough to ... Read More

Is this the most boring Spring Training ever? The only "position battles" we have are Mike Fontenot vs. Aaron Miles for second base and Sean Marshall vs. a giant pile of crap for fifth starter. No controversy makes Spring Training about as interesting as an Alan Trammell press conference. Ha ha ha! Seriously. Tedious. ... Read More

Thanks to Skip for handling the Roundup duties for me last week. This week, it's back to serious business. There were so many ludicrous, random news stories this week, that you'll have to forgive me for including a bunch of non-Cubs-related stuff. Actually, I don't give a shit if you're mad at me. Fume away, geeks. ... Read More

Rumor has it (and thanks to Oleg for the tip) that the Cubs are about to sign former Devil Ray and former Kansas City Royal outfielder Joey Gathright. He's fast, and he can catch the ball, so the signing would make sense for, say, the Bears. But he can't hit. Like, at all. Unless you count ... Read More

EDIT: It's come to my attention from my good friend PAUL SULLIVAN (through Dolan) that Carrie Muskat's father recently passed away. I know I have my fun at Carrie's expense on a weekly basis, but mine and I hope your thoughts and prayers are with the Muskat family in their time of grief. Oh, hey, I forgot to say ... Read More

There's nothing quite like armchair G.M.s to get you fired up for the Winter Meetings. In this week's Muskbag, a bunch of Cubs fans and Carrie Muskat play G.M. and do what they can to ruin the Cubs. As an added bonus, a commenter LOSES HIS MIND. Looking at the stats, Lee's power numbers and run production are declining. ... Read More

I have some good news and the greatest news ever. The bad news is that the Muskbag was surprisingly not that dumb this week. It was boring and inane, as usual, but not as obtuse as normal. Ready for the greatest news ever? The Muskbag now allows comments. COMMENTS! This is the greatest thing ... Read More

The only time I read Bleed Cubbie Blue is when someone on Desipio links it. For someone on Desipio to link it, the writing must be worse than normal. So when I saw a link to the hilariously stupid "Building A Cubs Champion: Introducing Your 2009 Chicago Cubs" I had to click it. I now fully understand ... Read More

Is Erik Bedard the reason the Cubs still haven't been able to trade for Brian Roberts? Possibly. Never fear, though, as it looks like Bedard to Seattle is close to happening. IF the Orioles were demanding Rich Hill plus a bunch of prospects in exchange for Bedard, it probably would have been a pretty lateral trade for ... Read More