Hire Jim Essian

If there's one person to whom the Giles brothers should apologize, that man is their father. Because these jowly, square-headed weirdos had to have just RUINED their mother. If there's a second person to whom the Giles brother should apologize, it's me. Because they have just RUINED Cub pitching. That's why, after Marcus made his way ... Read More

Look! Up in the air! It's a middle infielder nearly as short as the ones the Cubs love collecting! It's an average second baseman who put up average numbers against most of the teams in the National League! It's a tiny little guy who mysteriously starting slamming home runs, but then shrunk and couldn't stay ... Read More

Hello, everyone. This is guest blogger Aldolf, Founder and Editor-in-Chief of one of the most critically-acclaimed Cubs blogs on the internet. If you're wondering why I'm doing the Roundup this week, click here. It's Friday once again, my flock. And you know what that means? It means I'm going to spend the night unhappy and ... Read More